I Choose My Vice Presidential Nominee
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

I Choose My Vice Presidential Nominee

Following in the footsteps of presidential candidate Ted Cruz, I've named my running mate even though I have no chance of winning.

8
I Choose My Vice Presidential Nominee
Google Images

This week, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz announced that Carly Fiorina will be his running mate once the general election begins. Ordinarily, this would be a fairly standard but newsworthy event. Sure, it's important that a presidential candidate announces who they would select as vice president, but this happens every four years. This one was newsworthy for a different reason: Ted Cruz has not yet won the Republican nomination.

That's right. Ted Cruz announced who his vice president would be, despite the fact that he is not yet the party's nominee. It is looking increasingly evident that he will not win the nomination, let alone the general election. It seems that Cruz is looking toward an election he will not be a part of, and that is glorious.

First, let's look at the nominee herself. For those of you who don't remember (almost everyone), Fiorina was a 2016 Republican presidential candidate herself before dropping out almost immediately. She was formerly the CEO of Hewlett-Packard, or HP, and by most accounts she wasn't a great one. So why did Cruz pick her, of all people? Clearly, it's because she's a woman. Cruz is often accused of being far too conservative, so to pander to the more moderate Republican voters, he chose Fiorina. Also, Cruz, like most Republicans, assumes that Hillary Clinton will win the Democratic nomination. While that has yet to be determined, if Cruz ran against Clinton with Fiorina as his running mate, Clinton no longer has the vaunted "woman card" that Donald Trump accuses her of using. It's pure posturing. Cruz and Fiorina share little in common politically.

I still can't get over the fact that Cruz is acting like he's already won the nomination. I know that's probably not what he was going for, but to me, it seems like he's already thinking about November instead of the primary he's currently losing. It would be like if I chose a vice presidential nominee, since I have about as much of a chance as Ted Cruz of winning the presidential election in 2016.

Actually...that's not a bad idea. I'm not even legally allowed to run for president, but let's not worry about that. The fact that I can't win isn't stopping me from thinking ahead to the November election, because that's what Ted Cruz has taught me. I am officially announcing my candidacy for president of the United States, and as my running mate, I choose...

James Earl Jones. He will give all of my speeches and will soothe the nation with his amazing voice. Hey, it's more than Carly Fiorina is offering Ted Cruz.

There you have it, people. Vote for me, and you can get the voice of Darth Vader and Mufasa into the White House, which is a more concrete promise than most politicians give at this time of the year.

Martin/Jones 2016!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Your Work Week As Told By Michael Scott And Stanley Hudson

"The Office" is basically the best American TV show created in the past 15 years (you can fight me on this). And through all its hilarity and cringe-worthy "that would never happen in real life" moments, the show really does have a lot of relatable themes, as can be seen by the little compilation I put together of Michael Scott and Stanley Hudson.

Keep Reading... Show less
October Is Overrated, Let's Just Accept This Fact

I have never liked the month of October. I like the fall weather and the beginning of wearing sweaters in the crisp fall air, but I never associated this with the month of October.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Plight Of Being Bigger Than A D-Cup

"Big boobs are like puppies: they're fun to look at and play with, but once they're yours, you realize they're a lot of responsibility." - Katie Frankhart, Her Campus

7886
giphy.com

This probably sounds like the most self-absorbed, egotistical, and frankly downright irritating white-girl problem... but there's more to this I promise.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

An Open Letter To The Younger Muslim Generation

Fight back with dialogue and education.

6865

Dear Muslim Kids,

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Mystery Of The Gospel

Also entitled, "The Day I Stopped Believing In God"

8065

I had just walked across the street from the soccer field back to the school. I turned around and saw the cars rushing, passing each other, going fast over the crosswalk where I had been moments earlier. “It would be so easy to jump in front of one of them,” I thought, looking at the cars. “I could jump, and this life that I’m stuck in would be over.”

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments