“Choker” Does Not Mean “Choke-Her”

“Choker” Does Not Mean “Choke-Her”

Because that fashionable and malleable material stretched thin across our necks does not insinuate anything.
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Two weeks ago, I decided to go to a local fireworks show with my boyfriend. The place was crawling with teenagers, the thick summer air made my eyelids feel rather heavy, and game stands accompanied food trucks with lines seemingly longer than the Great Wall of China. We were standing in an overly-crowded parking lot as we awaited the fireworks to run streaks of colorful glitter across the night sky. A group of high school-aged girls stood next to us, all wearing trendy outfits with their phones glued directly to their fingertips. Two boys mingled with their group. Out of pure curiosity of analyzing youth, I managed to survey them out of the corner of my eye. Those boys looked at the girls like they were nothing more than a good meal. I quietly observed as one of the boys nudged the another, his eyes summing up one of the girls—who was coincidentally wearing a cute little choker. His eyes took their sweet time wandering to the base of her neck.

“Ah dude, look at that. She’s totally asking for it. I’ll have a lot of fun with her and that thing around her neck tonight.”

I was floored. Although he said it as a whisper to his friend, I was close enough to hear every word he muttered. I had never given much thought to chokers before this specific moment, but suddenly, a young man summing up a girl and her “sexual” desires based solely on the thin piece of fabric secured around her neck made me put this expressive form of an accessory into question.

Instinctively, my hand reached up to grab the choker around my own neck and my face hardened with internal rage.

That boy assumed wearing a choker meant she wanted rough-sex.

It’s a necklace. An accessory. It’s something females (or males) tend wear that is merely meant to display a sense of individualism and self-pride. But for some reason unbeknownst to me, a choker has now morphed and is viewed as an object that “insinuates something inappropriate to men”. So to provide my visceral reaction to the aforesaid statement: I am appalled that a man’s mind can completely wander when he sees a woman sporting a choker. A woman does NOT wear a choker or any other kind of seemingly “provocatively insinuating” garment to show anything other than it’s something SHE wants to wear. Even though I’ve never personally met the young girl wearing the choker and I can’t say for certain that she didn’t want rough-sex, I’d bet money on the fact that if she is anything like me or the rest of the female population, then she was wearing her choker as a fashion statement and not as a sign to boys that she’s an easy hook-up that occasionally likes to be choked. My blood boils at the thought of men hungrily staring at anything a girl is wearing, and then naturally assuming that “she’s asking for it.” Be it a choker, stilettos, heavier makeup, a clingy tube-top, deep V-neck shirts, or daisy-dukes—a woman goes out wearing what she wants, and not for the sake of what others desire to see her in. We put on our clothes and accessories in the morning with the full intention of wearing them for our own damn selves; because we wear what makes us feel good.

There have been times when I’ve heard about rape cases that went by without much thought or concern because the victimized woman was wearing something too revealing at the time and her lack of clothes was somehow indicative of her “asking for it to happen.” Sure, that makes total sense—a woman wears something risqué, so therefore she has the intention of getting raped. How can anyone defend such a moronic statement? How can anyone be so cruel as to judge another human being for what they are wearing, and then stake the claim that her attire was her way of virtually asking to be assaulted and/or raped?

There is so much constant pressure on women to look good in whatever they wear, at all times. We are not perfect muses, and nor should the things we put on our bodies somehow define us as anything other than individuals seeking our own versions of comfort in our chosen lifestyles. But now something as measly as a choker is grabbing an unwarranted kind of attention. As women, we should not and shall not stop wearing what we decide to, because we don’t dress to appease anyone but ourselves. And when it comes to chokers, we’ll continue to wear them for the trend. Mini history lesson: During the French Revolution in 1798, women took to wearing red ribbons around their necks (much like the modern-day version of chokers) in order to pay homage to those who faced their impeding death at the hand of the guillotine. So boys, we mustn’t forget that history has a tendency of repeating itself. If you keep making statements like these, then perhaps you’ll give us women a real reason to wear our chokers.

As the fireworks began to explode and fade in the sky above, the boy went over and hung his ape-like arm around the girl’s tiny shoulders. But she shrugged him off and slipped away so she could stand with her friends. I smiled. So much for his bright idea.

With love, by Ari.

Cover Image Credit: Ariana Carpentieri

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35 Major Life Facts According To Nick Miller

"All booze is good booze, unless it's weak booze."
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Fact: If you watch "New Girl," you love Nick Miller.

You can't help it. He's an adorable, lovable mess of a man and you look forward to seeing him and his shenanigans each week. While living the infamous and incomparable life of Nick Miller, and obviously Julius Pepperwood— he has learned many valuable laws of the land. And, although Nick refuses to learn anything from anyone besides his mysterious, old Asian friend Tran, he does have a few lessons he'd like to teach us.

Here are 35 facts of life according to 'Nick Milla Nick Milla':

1. Drinking keeps you healthy.

"I'm not gonna get sick. No germ can live in a body that is 65% beer."

2. Dinosaurs never existed.

"I don't believe dinosaurs existed. I've seen the science. I don't believe it."


3. A paper bag is a bank.

"A bank is just a paper bag but with fancier walls."


4. Having sex is similar to delivering mail.

"I'm like a mailman, except instead of mail it's hot sex that I deliver."

5. Moonwalking is a foolproof way to get out of any awkward situation.

Jess (about Nick): "Now he won't even talk to me. I saw him this morning and he just panic moonwalked away from me. He does that sometimes."

6. Using a movie reference is also a great way.

Cece: "Come on, get up!"

Nick: "No, I don't dance. I'm from that town in "Footloose."

7. There's no reason to wash towels.

Nick: "I don’t wash the towel. The towel washes me. Who washes a towel?"

Schmidt: "You never wash your towel?"

Nick: "What am I gonna do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?"

8. Exes are meant to be avoided at all costs (especially if/unless they're Caroline)

"I don't deal with exes, they're part of the past. You burn them swiftly and you give their ashes to Poseidon."

9. IKEA furniture is not as intimidating as it looks.

"I'm building you the dresser. I love this stuff. It's like high-stakes LEGOs."

10. You don't need forks if you have hands.

Jess: "That's gross. Get a fork, man."

Nick: "I got two perfectly good forks at the end of my arms!"

11. Sex has a very specific definition.


"It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut."

12. Doors are frustrating.

"I will push if I want to push! Come on! I hate doors!"

13. All booze is good booze.

"Can I get an alcohol?"

14. ...unless it's weak booze.

"Schmidt, that is melon flavored liquor! That is 4-proof! That is safe to drink while you're pregnant!"

15. Writers are like pregnant women.

Jess: "You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus."

Nick: "I can top that easily. I'm having a hard time with my zombie novel."

Jess: "Are you really comparing a zombie novel to my ability to create life?"

Nick: "I'm a writer, Jess. We create life."

16. All bets must be honored.

"There is something serious I have to tell you about the future. The name of my first-born child needs to be Reginald VelJohnson. I lost a bet to Schmidt."

17. Adele's voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

"Adele is amazing."

18. Beyoncé is extremely trustworthy.

"I'd trust Beyoncé with my life. We be all night."

19. Fish, on the other hand, are not.


“Absolutely not. You know I don’t trust fish! They breathe water. That's crazy!"

20. Bar mitzvahs are terrifying.

Schmidt: "It's a bar mitzvah!"

Nick: "I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised!"

21. ...so are blueberries.

Jess: "So far, Nick Miller's list of fears is sharks, tap water, real relationships..."

Nick: "And blueberries."

22. Take your time with difficult decisions. Don't be rash.


Jess: "You care about your burritos more than my children, Nick?"

Nick: "You're putting me in a tough spot!"

23. Getting into shape is not easy.

"I mean, I’m not doing squats or anything. I’m trying to eat less donuts."

24. We aren't meant to talk about our feelings.

"If we needed to talk about feelings, they would be called talkings."


25. We're all a little bit too hard on ourselves.

"The enemy is the inner me."

26. Freezing your underwear is a good way to cool off.


"Trust me, I'm wearing frozen underpants right now and I feel amazing. I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you."

27. Public nudity is normal.

"Everbody has been flashed countless times."

28. Alcohol is a cure-all.


"You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol."

29. Horses are aliens.

"I believe horses are from outer-space."


30. Turtles should actually be called 'shell-beavers.'

Jess: "He calls turtles 'shell-beavers."

Nick: "Well, that's what they should be called."

31. Trench coats are hot.


"This coat has clean lines and pockets that don't quit, and it has room for your hips. And, when I wear it, I feel hot to trot!"


32. Sparkles are too.

"Now, my final bit of advice, and don't get sensitive on this, but you've got to change that top it's terrible and you've got to throw sparkles on. Sparkles are in. SPARKLES ARE IN."

33. Introspection can lead to a deeper knowing of oneself.

"I'm not convinced I know how to read. I've just memorized a lot of words."


34. It's important to live in the moment.

"I know this isn't gonna end well but the middle part is gonna be awesome."


35. Drinking makes you cooler.

Jess: "Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing."

Nick: "That's the only thing in the world I know to be true."

Cover Image Credit: Hollywood Reporter

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The Zodiac Signs As Bath And Body Works Scents

Just in case you want to know what scent you are!

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Bath and Body Works fans could be considered to be part of a cult. The scents draw you in as if calling your name, if you ever
wondered what your scent should be based on your zodiac sign, here it is!

Aries: Country Apple

The rather impulsive Aries takes their time picking and choosing the scents from Bath and Body Works. The soothing scent of a fresh apple orchard is just what they need on a daily basis to keep up with their shenanigans.

Taurus: Japanese Cherry Blossom

The personality of a Taurus is stubborn, or what I like to say, is stuck in their ways. When they first discovered this scent in middle school, this was it. This is the only scent you will find anywhere around a Taurus.

Libra: Pink Chiffon

Pink Chiffon is another cult classic. This best selling scent went out of style for a hot second but is back and bigger than ever.

Leo: Thousand Wishes

Thousand Wishes is a purr-fect scent for a Leo. The light scent adornes the wearer just the right amount to get the desired reaction from those around them.

Aquarius: Be Enchanted

The rather cold personality of an Aquarius is counteracted by the loving scent of Be Enchanted. The scent is just enough tenderness for the wearer to be relaxed.

Gemini: Moonlight Path

Gemini's constantly change their favorite scent and are in and out of the store almost weekly to by new lotions, candles, and body washes. You will never see a full empty bottle of anything, however, Moonlight Path is the scent they keep coming back to again and again.

Virgo: Sea Island Cotton

The clean personality of a Virgo must be matched with the clean scent of Sea Island Cotton.

Capricorn: Cucumber Melon

Another clean scent of Cucumber Melon is the exact thing a Capricorn needs. The balance and calming scents are what make this scent so attractive to a Capricorn.

Scorpio: Paris Amour

The light scent is what you would expect from an extreme sign like a Scorpio. The scent lightly washes over the wearer in almost a cloud that

Sagittarius: Cashmere Glow

Cashmere Glow is a perfect scent for the winter sign. The vanilla and golden peach scent is just the mixture that creates the perfect accessory in the chilly months.

Pisces: Warm Vanilla Sugar

This lovely scent accentuates the lovely personality of a Pisces. They can never get enough of this scent so they just keep buying and buying until they have a full stockpile.

Cancer: Velvet Sugar

Velvet Sugar is the perfect blend of red velvet and strawberries and a Cancer is always changing their mind. The wearer can tell if it is a more red velvet or strawberry kind of day, and that is the balance that they need in their lives.

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