“Choker” Does Not Mean “Choke-Her”

“Choker” Does Not Mean “Choke-Her”

Because that fashionable and malleable material stretched thin across our necks does not insinuate anything.
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Two weeks ago, I decided to go to a local fireworks show with my boyfriend. The place was crawling with teenagers, the thick summer air made my eyelids feel rather heavy, and game stands accompanied food trucks with lines seemingly longer than the Great Wall of China. We were standing in an overly-crowded parking lot as we awaited the fireworks to run streaks of colorful glitter across the night sky. A group of high school-aged girls stood next to us, all wearing trendy outfits with their phones glued directly to their fingertips. Two boys mingled with their group. Out of pure curiosity of analyzing youth, I managed to survey them out of the corner of my eye. Those boys looked at the girls like they were nothing more than a good meal. I quietly observed as one of the boys nudged the another, his eyes summing up one of the girls—who was coincidentally wearing a cute little choker. His eyes took their sweet time wandering to the base of her neck.

“Ah dude, look at that. She’s totally asking for it. I’ll have a lot of fun with her and that thing around her neck tonight.”

I was floored. Although he said it as a whisper to his friend, I was close enough to hear every word he muttered. I had never given much thought to chokers before this specific moment, but suddenly, a young man summing up a girl and her “sexual” desires based solely on the thin piece of fabric secured around her neck made me put this expressive form of an accessory into question.

Instinctively, my hand reached up to grab the choker around my own neck and my face hardened with internal rage.

That boy assumed wearing a choker meant she wanted rough-sex.

It’s a necklace. An accessory. It’s something females (or males) tend wear that is merely meant to display a sense of individualism and self-pride. But for some reason unbeknownst to me, a choker has now morphed and is viewed as an object that “insinuates something inappropriate to men”. So to provide my visceral reaction to the aforesaid statement: I am appalled that a man’s mind can completely wander when he sees a woman sporting a choker. A woman does NOT wear a choker or any other kind of seemingly “provocatively insinuating” garment to show anything other than it’s something SHE wants to wear. Even though I’ve never personally met the young girl wearing the choker and I can’t say for certain that she didn’t want rough-sex, I’d bet money on the fact that if she is anything like me or the rest of the female population, then she was wearing her choker as a fashion statement and not as a sign to boys that she’s an easy hook-up that occasionally likes to be choked. My blood boils at the thought of men hungrily staring at anything a girl is wearing, and then naturally assuming that “she’s asking for it.” Be it a choker, stilettos, heavier makeup, a clingy tube-top, deep V-neck shirts, or daisy-dukes—a woman goes out wearing what she wants, and not for the sake of what others desire to see her in. We put on our clothes and accessories in the morning with the full intention of wearing them for our own damn selves; because we wear what makes us feel good.

There have been times when I’ve heard about rape cases that went by without much thought or concern because the victimized woman was wearing something too revealing at the time and her lack of clothes was somehow indicative of her “asking for it to happen.” Sure, that makes total sense—a woman wears something risqué, so therefore she has the intention of getting raped. How can anyone defend such a moronic statement? How can anyone be so cruel as to judge another human being for what they are wearing, and then stake the claim that her attire was her way of virtually asking to be assaulted and/or raped?

There is so much constant pressure on women to look good in whatever they wear, at all times. We are not perfect muses, and nor should the things we put on our bodies somehow define us as anything other than individuals seeking our own versions of comfort in our chosen lifestyles. But now something as measly as a choker is grabbing an unwarranted kind of attention. As women, we should not and shall not stop wearing what we decide to, because we don’t dress to appease anyone but ourselves. And when it comes to chokers, we’ll continue to wear them for the trend. Mini history lesson: During the French Revolution in 1798, women took to wearing red ribbons around their necks (much like the modern-day version of chokers) in order to pay homage to those who faced their impeding death at the hand of the guillotine. So boys, we mustn’t forget that history has a tendency of repeating itself. If you keep making statements like these, then perhaps you’ll give us women a real reason to wear our chokers.

As the fireworks began to explode and fade in the sky above, the boy went over and hung his ape-like arm around the girl’s tiny shoulders. But she shrugged him off and slipped away so she could stand with her friends. I smiled. So much for his bright idea.

With love, by Ari.

Cover Image Credit: Ariana Carpentieri

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50 Quotes from the Best Vines

If you're picturing the vines in your head, you're doing it right
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In 2017 we had to say goodbye to one of the best websites to ever roam the internet: Vine. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. It contained 6-second videos that were mostly comedy- but there were other genres including music, sports, cool tricks and different trends. Vine stars would get together and plan out a vine and film it till they got it right.

It was owned by Twitter and it was shut down because of so many reasons; the viners were leaving and making money from Youtube, there was simply no money in it and Twitter wanted us to suffer.

There's been a ton of threads on Twitter of everyone's favorite vines so I thought I'd jump in and share some of my favorites. So without further ado, here are some quotes of vines that most vine fanatics would know.

1. "AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

2. "Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F%#K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F%#K ya chicken strips!"

3. "Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

4. "Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"

5. "...Hi Welcome to Chili's"

6. "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

7."Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"

8. Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game..."

9. "It's a avocadooo...thanks"

10. "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

11. "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."

12. "Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

13. "Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"

14. "Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

15. "Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

16. "Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read."

17. "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"

18. 18. "I wanna be a cowboy baby... I wanna be a cowboy baby"

19. "Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

20. "I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag" "you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?"

21. "What's better than this? Guys bein dudes"

22. "How'd you get these bumps? ya got eggzma?" "I got what?" "You got eggzma?"

23. "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

24. "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

25. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEN!" "I can't sweem"

26. "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

27. "How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

28. *Birds chirping* "Tweekle Tweekle"

29. "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

30. "I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" "huh...Judas..no"

31. "Sleep? I don't know about sleep...it's summertime" "You ain't go to bed?" "Oh she caught me"

32. "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"33. "Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."

34. "Next Please" "Hello" "Sir, this is a mug shot" "A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee"


35. "Hey did you happen to go to class last week?" "I have never missed a class"

36. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?"

37. "There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"

38. "Later mom. What's up me and my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker...GIVE ME MY HAT BACK JORDAN! DO YOU WANNA SEE UNCLE KRACKER OR NO?


39. "Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"

40. "Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach"

41. "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"

42. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? "

43. *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* "ADAM"

44. "Would you like the spider in your hand?" "Yea" "Say please" "Please" *puts spider in hand* *screams*

45. "Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"

46. *girl blows vape* "...WoW"

47. *running* "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

48. *Pours water onto girl's face" "Hello?"

49. "Wait oh yes wait a minute Mr. Postman" "HaaaAHH"

50. "...And they were roommates" "Mah God they were roommates"


I could literally go on forever because I just reference vines on a daily basis. Rest in peace Vine

Cover Image Credit: Vine

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7 Random Thoughts And Deep Realizations I've Had As A Big Sister

Lessons that sisterhood has taught me.

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I've been a big sister for about 15 years now, and my little sister has indirectly caused me to think about myriad things. Here are just a few that others can surely relate to.

1. I basically got the beta version of Mom and Dad's parenting, while my little sister gets the release version.

2. I'm supposed to be my sibling's role model, but I'm a mess who has no idea what I'm doing. Surely there's someone more qualified out there.

3. I don't pick on my sister because I hate her, I pick on her because that's my God-given right.

4. It's not that my sibling is babied by my parents, it's just that they are treating me like an adult.

5. I'm told I was originally super excited to have a little sister, I wonder what changed. Like what could my sister have done as a baby or toddler that made me go, "no I'm pretty much done with you."

6. Where's my thank you for not making teachers hate my sister solely on the grounds that we're related?

7. Hypothetically, would I like you more if we were full sisters, or do I only dislike you half as much as I could since we're half sisters?

I wouldn't replace my sister with anyone else in the world, I can't wait to see what else she helps me to realize as we get older. She's slow to get the joke, stubborn and is a little tone-deaf, but she puts up with an overly sarcastic, equally tone-deaf me, and I love her.

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