“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Almost two months ago, I began my student teaching period, which marks the final semester of my undergrad study. Even in those two months, I’ve connected remarkably with my students. In each one of them, I see the beginnings of a great new generation—each one of them shows an early sign of individual inspiration and uniqueness.

However, even as I look at this latest developing group of young adults, it really strikes me how that where we come from or what we can do has little to no bearing on who we eventually become. Rather, it is what we decide to do with where we came from or what we can do that determines who we truly are.

I’ve done my best to reason this out with my students, too. Young as they might be, they are able to grasp this basic concept. The way I reason it out with them is basically this:

First, a person can be born in any number of different situations and circumstances. They can be raised rightly or roughly, consistently or chaotically. They can have loving parents or parents that lash out harshly and unfairly. Maybe they had plenty of good friends growing up, or maybe their friends were lousy influences. Worse yet, maybe they had no friends at all. Any one of these differing details about how this person might have grown up could possibly influence them in a different way, changing their early conceptions of the world and how they might act within it.

Then, I add the fact that maybe this person is extremely gifted at writing or singing. Maybe the person is mathematically intelligent to a high degree. On the other hand, maybe the person is physically capable, blessed with distinctive strength or athletic prowess. Of course, maybe this person is not particularly gifted at anything at all. Maybe he’s pretty unremarkable.

Finally, I pose the possibility that, for whatever reason, this person decides to hold and rob someone at knifepoint in a dark alley. They don’t necessarily need to—they’re not starving, poor, or desperate for money in any way—they just do it. I ask my students if this person’s possible background or abilities makes a difference in this moment. I ask my kids if any possible abilities or gifts could get a person out of this tragic choice, once it has been made. I am almost always met with silence when I ask this question. It’s not easy for young teenagers to realize that it doesn’t matter what they achieve in school or how well off their parents are—one wise choice or one poor choice could end up defining them, for better or for worse.

The bottom line out of all of this is that our origins and abilities can only define our identities to a certain degree—beyond that, for better or for worse, our choices shape who we are—from childhood to the grave.