During my recent trip to North Carolina, I somehow thought it would be a good idea to get a tiny wishbone tattooed on my inner wrist. Immediately after, I had about three silent panic attacks, stayed up all night, and constantly had to remind myself that it wouldn't come off with baby oil in a few days. Now that it's been a few weeks and the scabbing has healed over, I keep looking down at my wrist and am reminded of why I got it in the first place.
Ever since I could remember, my mom or grandma would make a chicken for dinner and save the wishbone, putting it on a shelf above the kitchen sink. My current self, who only eats meat when I don't get too freaked out about it, probably would have refused to even go near the wishbone. But back then, I ran eagerly to the kitchen to make my wish.
I would grab whichever end looked the most promising and wish for a Juicy Couture bag or a puppy. My mom or grandma would grab the other and say "I wish you get your wish." Slowly but surely, their selflessness rubbed off on me and my wishes changed from materialistic things to meaningful attempts to better the world and the people in it. I wished for my Grandma to feel better, or for my friends to get awards in school or my baby cousin to grow up healthy.
This childhood tradition turned into a life lesson of learning to be selfless. It taught me to be a dreamer and a wisher, to believe that the best is yet to come, and if it it isn't, you could wish the bad away. In some ways, this is still true, but now that I'm older, the symbol of the wishbone has another meaning.
There's a quote that says "never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be." The first time I read it, I laughed, thinking about all the times I was persuaded to be a dreamer and break the wishbone, believing in its powers. When I realized that I couldn't get the saying out of my head, I was able to acknowledge the fact that wishing doesn't get you very far. Whether it's wishing for a different life, different friends, or for someone to change, it takes a bit more than breaking a bone at the kitchen sink. It takes a backbone, the ability to stand your ground and make decisions for yourself.
The boy you want to change so badly won't change unless he wants to, himself. The job you want, but don't work towards, is a job you won't get. The way your life plays out usually doesn't depend on the stars or closing your eyes and hoping for best. But sometimes, it does.
Like most things, there are two sides, two opposing forces pulling at each other. One end of the wishbone is telling me to be a dreamer. One end is telling me to be a realist. One end is my mother and grandmother, the other is me, finding my way. The symbol on my wrist is small, but mighty. It's my family, my future, and the galaxy all in one. It is a wishbone and my backbone for when I forget that I have one.
