Dear Mom and Dad,

I still remember the exact moment when I found out you guys were getting divorced. I remember how weird and tense things had been the week leading up to the talk, and I remember you sitting my brothers and I down on the couch. At first, I was afraid that someone had died. The next thing that happened was something that I wouldn’t have ever been able to guess, not in a million years.

You guys had always seemed so happy together. I had thought that I was the luckiest girl in the world, having two parents that loved each other even after seventeen years. But sitting on that couch, being told that you guys were no longer going to be together, felt like a knife being stabbed right through me.

I cried so much that I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to cry again. I felt lost, confused, and numb. And then I had to go babysit. That night, as I watched the children, one of them cried out for their mother. Little did they know, all I wanted in that moment was for my own mother to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright, even though I didn’t think anything ever could be alright again. I was seventeen years old, sitting on a couch in someone else’s house, watching my life crumble before me.

Life didn’t get better quickly, either. It was hard coping with this new reality so different than the one I had grown up knowing. Mom, seeing you in pain was absolutely heartbreaking. I wanted so badly to be able to take away the pain you were experiencing, but I knew that there was nothing I could do. Some wounds just take time to heal. And even then, some leave a permanent scar. And Dad, I think part of me hated you for a while. Things are different now, but it definitely took some time for me to get over those feelings. I was always a daddy’s girl growing up, but for a while I couldn’t even look you in the eye. I’m sorry for that.

It sucks. It really, really sucks that you guys aren’t together anymore. Sometimes when I think about it, it still makes me feel like I’m going to cry. And sometimes, I still wonder if there was anything I could have done to change things. I’m not saying that I blame myself, but sometimes I do wonder if it was my fault in some way. Maybe if I would’ve gotten along better with my brothers, or if I would’ve kept my room cleaner, maybe then you guys would still be together. But probably not. And you know what? It’s better this way.

And for a while, I think I stopped believing in love altogether. If my parents, who seemed so great for each other, could fall out of love so easily, was love even real? And if so, did I deserve it? I felt unlovable. I was terrified to tell people that my parents were getting divorced. For a while, I thought that nobody would love the girl with divorced parents, especially since I’d heard that people with divorced parents were more likely to get divorced themselves. But I realized that that was just one of many stereotypes meant to be broken. And yes, I’m still a little scared of love, but I’ve realized that your parents’ mistakes don’t define you. And your divorce hasn’t scared me enough to make me give up on love altogether.

You guys are both so much happier now, and that is what matters. Somewhere along the way, you guys stopped putting each other first, and you stopped noticing the little things that made you fall in love with each other in the first place. You stopped loving each other the way a husband and wife are supposed to love one another. And you guys both deserve to be loved to the fullest extent that a person can love another person.

And then you found other people that could do that for you. Dad, you found a wonderful wife who shares the same interests that you do, and I know that you’re completely in love with her. Mom, you found a husband that absolutely cherishes you, and he can take you to wonderful places and treat you like a queen, and you have never been happier. You’ve each finally found your person. It's hard admitting that you aren’t each other’s person, but I now know that you couldn’t ever be. And the thing is, I'm okay with that.

There was a reason that you guys were together, and that reason was me and my little brother. If you would have never found each other, we wouldn’t exist. And if you wouldn’t have stayed together for as long as you did, the three of us kids wouldn’t be who we are today. I think that you two did a pretty great job raising us, and you should pat yourselves on the back for that.

So basically what I’m saying is… Thank you for getting divorced. And thank you for showing me that hearts can still work after they’ve been broken. And thanks for showing me that true love does exist, even if it comes seventeen years later than you expect it to.

I love you, Mom and Dad. And that will never change.

--Daughter of Divorce