I love lists - they just make life so much easier. When I go to the grocery store, having a list means that I won't forget what I went shopping for and buy all the food in sight (believe me, it happens). Having a To-Do list throughout the day means that won't forget homework assignments or meetings (hopefully). There are all kinds of lists to get us through our days, months, and even our entire lives. There are lists of chores to do during the week, a list of what you're allergic to (kind of important) and then there's my "Godly Guy" checklist. It may sound cheesy, but you try to come up with a better title for it!
So my Godly Guy, or "GG," checklist is a list of all of the qualities I look for in a future husband. That's right, folks, people still date for marriage rather than convenience or lust. The list holds all of the God-oriented qualities I wish for in a man, as well as some qualities that God does not require but I find mandatory - showers daily, intelligent, is family-oriented, etc. I basically took God's description of a Godly man and added a little bit to it.
All of that is fine and dandy. Having a list makes life easy, right? Not really, just easier. Let's say you're making yourself a Godly-Guy or Godly-Girl list (really, if you can come up with better names, let me know. But I am kind of partial to calling it GG. Again, making life easier!) and you have been reading your Bible, cross-referencing different relationship studies, researching anything to do with love, relationships, and marriage, and you finally have God's list written out. Now comes the fun/tedious part. What, in a spouse, do you require? Don't get too crazy with it and think that just because you like the way Brad Pitt looks that God is going to give you Brad's look-alike. Require, not desire. Once you are with your meant-to-be, you'll realize that he or she is everything you need in a spouse and more.
Once you have your list completed, it's time to pray. Don't talk to God like you're ordering a delivery Pizza: "Yeah, God, I'd like a nice brunette, preferably majored in engineering, and uh, maybe throw a little bit of a missions-driven heart in there too. Thanks. Oh, and make sure I meet her in the next year or so. Bye!" Your future spouse's qualities are not something to be demanded of God. God gives us the ability to have someone to share our lives with and to grow in our faith with. This is a gift, a privilege, not a right. Your future spouse is someone God has chosen specifically for you, this list is just to help keep you from wasting your time with those who do not meet His and your standards.
Okay, so you feel that God approves of your list, that your future spouse is outlined perfectly in this list of yours. Great! Now here is where you make sure that YOU match the checklist. Remember "Check It Twice"? The second time is to make sure that YOU fit the criteria!
I know what you're thinking - this is for my spouse, not for me. But think about it this way - you're looking for someone compatible, right? Someone like you? Then you have to be like the list you made out to be matched with a person that you have described in your list. Consider this: If I ask for God to give me someone who prays every day, talks about Christ freely, and studies His word and yearns to learn more, why should I not be required to do the same? You cannot ask for a Godly spouse if your are not willing to be a man/woman of God yourself. If God were to give you a Godly spouse and you yourself were a Sunday Christian, (which means you only go to church on Sundays and that is the limit of your interaction with God until the next Sunday) you would be what is called "unequally yoked." In 2 Corinthians 6:14, we are told, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" If you and your partner are in two different places in your hunger for the word and your intentions to fill out His plan, it would be near impossible to grow together. One of you would be adapting to the other, causing a strain on both of you in your relationship to each other and with Christ. So God wants us to be with people that have that same hunger, that have similar passions to ours, and that have full intentions to fill out His plan.
The point: Ask and you shall receive, but make sure that you are prepared to receive. Make your list and check it twice, once for your future spouse and once for yourself. And remember to do lots of praying!
(For help finding information in theBible by topic, I recommend "Where To Find It In The Bible" by Ken Anderson)
