Cheating Will Never Be An Accident

Cheating Will Never Be An Accident

The common mindset that cheating is an accident is very dangerous.
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The other day, I received a random friend request on Facebook. The guy lives a few hours away, our mutual friends are exclusively female, and his cover photo is a pinup pic of Kate Upton. You know the type. The type that shoots you a “hey” or “wassup” every few days, despite your blatant attempts at ignoring him (does he really not get the concept of read receipts?). The motives of these guys are crystal clear: they’re out to find hookups, and fast.

Now I’m in a perfectly happy relationship, and I’m not afraid to let everyone in the world know that. But in my particular case, this creep continued pestering me about my love life, eventually asking if I would ever cheat on my boyfriend. He was trying to weasel an answer out of me that would quench his thirst.

That’s when I lost it. I threw my phone across the bed and screamed into my pillow, too furious to even think straight. How dare he label me as a potential cheater, when he knew nothing about me. How dare he assume that I would commit the ultimate act of betrayal against my partner. Eventually, I was able to calm down enough to explain to this guy that I loved my boyfriend and I could never dream of hurting him that way.

His response was simple and sickening all at once: “accidents happen.”

He’s right, accidents do happen. Like tripping over your cat and falling face first onto the kitchen floor. Or leaving your wallet at home and driving like a grandma to avoid cops on the way to work. These are mistakes that happen (and in my case, quite frequently).

But cheating is not an accident. Carrying on an emotional or sexual relationship behind the back of your significant other is a choice; a choice that was made, whether it was sober or drunk, just once or a million times.

It’s true that the definition of cheating is subjective. Some consider it to be simple flirting, while the limit isn’t set for others until sex comes into the picture. It varies with every relationship. But wherever the line is drawn between partners, it can be devastating when it is crossed.

When you’ve been cheated on, your entire sense of trust is broken. Your self-esteem plummets and sometimes you even blame yourself. You become guarded and it can be difficult to fully trust anyone again.

Cheating can really ruin a person.

So when you label cheating as an “accident”, it demeans the very person you cheated on. You make them feel as if they have no right to be upset, because “accidents” are so menial.

This mindset is disgusting. Cheating is in no way comparable to spilling wine on your bedspread. Instead of cataloging cheating as an accident, we need to see it for what it truly is: a mistake.

If you’ve cheated on a significant other, don’t underestimate the power of your mistake. Don’t trivialize your actions, and especially don’t perpetuate the delusion that cheating is as simple as forgetting to turn off the TV.

An accident is dropping your phone, not your pants.

Cover Image Credit: Mark Manson

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17 Empowering Bible Verses For Women

You go, girl.
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We all have those days where we let the negative thoughts that we're "not good enough," "not pretty enough" or "not smart enough" invade our minds. It's easy to lose hope in these situations and to feel like it would be easier to just give up. However, the Bible reminds us that these things that we tell ourselves are not true and it gives us the affirmations that we need. Let these verses give you the power and motivation that you're lacking.

1. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."

2. Psalm 46:5

"God is within her, she will not fall."

3. Luke 1:45

"Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her."

4. Proverbs 31:17

"She is energetic and strong, a hard worker."

5. Psalm 28:7

"The Lord is my strength and my shield."

6. Proverbs 11:16

"A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth."

7. Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

8. Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."

9. 1 Corinthians 15:10

"By the grace of God, I am what I am."

10. Proverbs 31:26

"When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness."

11. Psalm 139:14

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

12. 1 Peter 3:3-4

"Don't be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."

13. Colossians 2:10

"And in Christ you have been brought to fullness."

14. 2 Timothy 1:7

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

15. Jeremiah 29:11

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'"

16. Exodus 14:14

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

17. Song of Songs 4:7

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."

Next time you're feeling discouraged or weak, come back to these verses and use them to give you the strength and power that you need to conquer your battles.

Cover Image Credit: Julia Waterbury

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If She Can't Tell You How She Feel Then It's Her Fault If She Is Upset

We aren't mind readers, its not our fault if you get upset for me not knowing how you feel.

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Be vocal.

Feeling hurt? Feel betrayed? Or, that someone is pushing you around? Step up and say something. If you remain silence for months on end and then one day explode, then sorry.

That is on you, not me.

Having a relationship is all about communication. That means you discuss your feelings. You listen and exchange conversation. If you are unable to communicate about how you feel, it's not the other person's fault. You had months to explain how you felt. Instead, you sat there in silence. You can't expect someone to hold your hand and walk you through your problems. If you are feeling hurt, you need to step up and say something. It's not their fault you kept your feelings silenced. A relationship without communication is destined to die. And if you can't express how you feel to them you have already nailed the confine closed.

A relationship goes two ways. It's about building and growing together.

If someone is unable to properly communicate their feelings, then how is that relationship going to grow. People need to step up and say how they feel.

Got something to say? Say it.

Staying in the silence isn't going to help anyone. It's not going to help your hurt feelings or fix the situation. Chances are, the other person in the relationship doesn't even know what is going on. Say something. Speak up. Want to change the situation? Make the first step. A relationship is about growing together. If you can't give the person the chance to grow through a mistake then the relationship was never a true one. You can't expect someone to be perfect all the time. You need to understand that people make mistakes and if you are truly invested in the relationship, you would stand up and say something.

People are not mind readers. It doesn't matter who started it.

They said something that hurt you? Say something about it. The situation won't change. So, don't expect to sit around and watch the situation change. You could what changes a bad situation for others. But if you stand there acting all innocent or quite, guess what. You are the one in the end to blame. Not them. They did nothing wrong at the end, because you nailed that confine shut when you decided not to speak up. Don't proceed to attack them about it. Be open. Be honest.

Staying quiet isn't going to change the situation.

So don't yell and cry when things don't work out.

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