The title almost expressed all the contents of this article. Yes! It’s about my experiences with death. It was rather fortunate that those near-death experiences happened, it actually knocked some sense into me (even though they might have been the end of my life), but one, just one stupid night, it changed my life forever.

This is the first time I ever publicly share this important piece of my life. It all began back in 6th grade. I was a short, chubby, and little Vietnamese guy who was just trying to fit in with everyone else. I wasn’t the most popular kid in class or school, so I decided to make my reputation. I was good at football, I love to challenge others in the game so I can get a chance to make friends with them, but it backfired… I was too good at the game, they started to hate me, they started to avoid me.

Then one day, one of them just said that I was being an a-hole in the game even though I was just trying to have fun with others. I was literally cast out by everyone, except for my best friend, Thong. He was the one I relied on most of my time being an outcast, he was there to cheer me up. Until, he became one of them, became the person that loves to outcast others. I was devastated. Towards the end of my dreadful 6th grade, I thought to myself: “Next year, I will change my situation in this school”. Boy! Was I so naive!

Things went worst after that, a guy name’s Francis (half Vietnamese, half French) hated my guts for some reason that even I don’t know. He started to bully me mentally and physically. He loved to beat me up whenever he had the chance. Then one day, he stepped over the boundary by punching me multiple times in the stomach and gave me a black eye. I was pissed but scared. In that moment, the only thing I could do was to wait for it to end. My parents decided to transfer me to a different school after that incident (I got a good earful of my parents calling me a sissy).

7th grade came along, same thing repeated, but this time, it was a half Korean, half Vietnamese dude. He wasn’t that normal, everytime he got angry, either he flip all the tables in the classroom or hit me instead. I remembered what happened last year, so I didn’t want it to repeat again and hearing my parents calling me a sissy. One day, we went to the hall for P.E since it was raining outside. He decided to come at me and tried to punch me, I then had enough, so I punched him right in the face. It felt good and I wanted more, all the agonizing sleepless nights I had, I just wanted to put it all on him, ending it once and for all. Unfortunately, the teacher ended things and he was spared.

I went home with exciting news to my parents, to tell them how I stood up for myself and beat up that bully. I was hyped until my mom started to yell at me for being dumb, stupid and that I should have just taken it and told the teacher later. I was literally done, I was again disappointed in my life, I felt like I’m not supposed to be in this world. 8th grade came and the bully was gone, but it’s just like ants, you kill one and boom, a dozens more appear. That’s the case for me, I got rid of him but others started to bully me mentally. You could say that my English skills were more superior than others at that point, so some of them took that as an advantage. They started to be friendly with me, sweet talking me, I thought I finally have friends, I was being naive again. So I helped them, but I was just being use, after I help them, I was once more cast away, I was once more alone. They treated like garbage, I thought to myself, as long as I stay naive, I will be fine. I acted like nothing was happening, going to school and smile, going back home and smile... But the truth is, I just wanted to end it all. I HATED MY LIFE.

One night, I was so depressed, tears started to drop out of my eyes, I wasn’t crying but I didn’t know what to call it. I locked myself in my room, blasting music as loud as I could and hope that no one can hear me. I reached over my desk, grabbed a pair of scissor, placed it right on my right wrist, it slowly sunk in, blood started to flow out, but it wasn’t painful at all, I didn’t feel anything, the pair of dull but pointy scissor went into my wrist, ⅓ of the way now, I’m almost free… but then, a thought crossed my mind, why am I doing this? What benefits are there from doing this? I pulled it out of my wrist and blood started to gush out like a stream of river, I was terrified, I tried to stop the bleeding which took me about 3 minutes of cotton the wound, bandages, and a medical wrap, wrapped my wrist up.

The next day, I just acted like nothing had happened, people are oblivious of the fact that I almost killed myself. With a blink of an eye, 3 years past by and there, I saw myself in America, a great country, a new start for me. Things didn’t go as I expected at first because people decided to screw with my life again, I went into depression mode again. But then I said to myself, why don’t I just be myself for another week and see where would that take me to. It worked! People started to like me more, they wanted to become my friend, I was so happy. More luck came in my way, I ended up with the Roses, which was wonderful because they were the nicest people I have ever lived with. They changed my life completely, they made me feel like I was home, my relationship between me and my real family was also improved, my parents and I started to bond more, we were more open about things.

Then, I happened to meet this redneck girl who loves anime, Star Wars, Minecraft, sculpting -- and she's good at shooting. I can go on and on about her, but back to the story. She was in my Spanish 1 class and I happened to fall in love with her, so we started to date and she plays an important role in my life. I dare to say that she’s the one I’m looking for and I promised myself not to let her go, ever! I was happy.

Until my program as an exchange student ended. I had to go back to Vietnam, I was sad but this time, instead, a face full of tears and boogers, I was smiling. For the first time in 4 years, I have the smile of a normal person, a dream that I finally achieved. It gave me a more positive vibe. It changed my fashion, my attitude, my health, my everything.

Whatever happens, always stay positive, be yourself, things will turn for the best. It helped a lot, you can see that I’ve been through a lot since I was young but now, I’m living the fullest every day without any regrets and you should too. Live your life like there’s no tomorrow. YOU WON’T REGRET IT! Trust me.