I have been told ever since I was a little girl that I am a "perfectionist" in everything I do. When I was younger, I never really thought much about it. I figured if I'm doing something, I'm going to put all my effort into it and make it perfect because why else would I be doing it? As I got older, I learned that chasing perfection is hard and taxing and people say to not do it. But for someone who has gone her whole life being a perfectionist, that's easier said than done.
I started thinking it was bad to be a perfectionist and want things to go a certain way, but I learned that's really not true at all. Chasing perfection isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes, it's exactly what you need to be doing.
Yes, being a perfectionist is time-consuming and I am usually stressed out or busy a lot, but in the end, it's totally worth it. I get told often that I always seem like I have my life put together in a perfect, seamless way because my homework is always done, I make an effort to practice my dances outside of practice and generally speaking, my life is put together, but not because of those things.
Yes, my homework always gets done. Why would it not? Yes, my papers are usually well written. Why would they not be? Yes, I run my dances outside of practice. Again, why would I not? I don't go into things and half-ass them, that's the perfectionist inside of me. If I get an assignment, I instantly map out in my head what I'm going to do and when I'm going to do it. And then I follow through. I edit and edit and edit some more, and just when I think it's good enough and I'm done, I edit a little more. I don't turn it in unless I know it's my best work.
And what's the problem with that? I want my work to be perfect and I want to make it look like I care. I wouldn't turn in sloppy work; I just wouldn't. And look where I am now, a full-time college student about to finish her first semester.
Chasing perfection has gotten me this far, and I don't plan on stopping it anytime soon. It’s not a bad thing to be a perfectionist or to want things to be perfect, it's just who I am. I do try to work on it and not be too critical of myself, but that comes with time. One day I'll be better at that, but for now, I'm still chasing perfection in everything I do, happier than I ever thought I could be.
