My daughter will be turning two in a couple of months. I'm sure many other moms can agree with me when I say that time sure has gone by pretty quickly. It has been a crazy two years, but I certainly wouldn't change it for anything. Well, sort of.
Since becoming a parent, I've noticed the number of friends I have that actually make time for our friendship has dwindled quite a bit. Maybe it's because I make my child my main focus at all times or maybe it's because they can't seem to understand that I can't just pick up my toddler and tote her to the bar and grill across town like some sort of accessory. In all honesty, the entire situation makes me feel like maybe a lot of these friendships weren't as real as I thought they were or maybe I'm just being selfish.
Having a child and keeping up with friendships is one of the most difficult things I've done in my life. Constantly telling friends that they can come to my house but I can't leave is definitely not helping the situation.
I don't want to lay the blame all on my friends, but I honestly think they don't understand. Children need structure. 2 p.m. naptimes that last two hours make it impossible to drive 30 minutes across town for a lunch date. I can't take my child to a bar so no, I really can't go grab a beer with you. Packing up the car with the bag and the few things we need to make it through the day and getting my child ready to leave takes at least an hour and no, I won't just bring her to your house, because your lack of baby-proofing makes your single girl adorable, yet messy, house a death trap for her.
When I ask you to come over for a glass of wine at my place it isn't because I'm lazy or not interested in your living space, it's because I don't have the time or strength to come baby proof your house or the extra money to find a babysitter right in the middle of nap time.
Maybe it's time to find some mom friends and time for me to just let some of those friendships go with people who don't understand that my life has changed. My daughter is my life now and honestly, I'm not sure I want people on board who can't undertsnad that.
