As an eager eighth grader, I sat down in one of those unbearably uncomfortable desk-chair combos and laid out my perfectly sharpened number 2 pencils. I drummed my fingers on my desk as the SSAT packets were being handed out. It was time for the essay portion, and so I sat in distress as I anticipated what the question would be. Once it was finally time to begin writing, I flipped open the packet and saw this question in front of me:

Do you change without telling people?

To be honest, I have no idea what I wrote as I sat there as an 8^th grader. I probably frantically attempted to relate the question to any intellectual book I had read recently while trying to add an entertaining anecdote at the same time. And once I left that crowded high school gym I didn’t think of the prompt again until a couple weeks ago when a friend reminded me of it.

This question is so relevant in my life right now as a college freshman. Time has been passing faster than I could have ever imagined. Before I know it I’ll be on a plane home on my way to reunite with my high school friends, and I have been anticipating whether or not everyone will be the same. My automatic assumption is that there’s no way they have changed too dramatically and that things will go back to how they have always been. But this stems from the idea that change is only real if we are made aware of it.

Of course, we change without telling people. If I updated my whole family and all of my friends every time I sensed a small difference in my personality or in my attitude, I would never hang up my phone. It can be hard accepting the fact that you may grow apart from some people, but growing apart from someone only means that you are progressing further towards finding yourself.

But finding yourself is no small feat. It takes time and patience. This concept of finding yourself tends to be one that is associated with going to college. There is pressure to change in college, and not just change, but change for the better. College is supposed to be where you realize your dreams, find your passions, and develop your life-long friendships. But it doesn’t happen overnight, and I think that is sometimes forgotten.

Most people want to make it appear that their life is as good as it can be. This is easy for our millennial generation because of all of the forms of social media we have available to us. Proving to others that you are progressing as a person and enjoying yourself at the same time has become not only normal but expected. I know that for me personally, this added pressure of comparison can get in my head. That is why change needs to be put into perspective.

Of course, we change without telling people. But what has happened in our generation of millennials is that we are trying too hard to show that we are changing.

So, when you go home from college the first few times, dive in with the mindset that some people may have changed. And if they have, then notice those differences, internalize them, and appreciate their new characteristics. But also understand that the changes may not be very noticeable, and accept that as well. You may not be arriving home with a newfound perspective on life, or with an earth shattering experience, but be able to accept how people have or have not changed. This ability just may be the most significant improvement to show off at your homecoming.