Change is inevitable, there's no denying it. As human beings, we are constantly finding things about our lives, including ourselves, that we'd like to change. Some things can be minor, such as the way your bedroom furniture is arranged, and some things can be drastic, like changing your major or quitting an addiction such as smoking cigarettes.
Whether we'd like to believe it or not, as humans, we cannot be completely satisfied with our own lives. There's always going to be something, no matter how little it may appear, that we'd like to change in order to make our lives better.
Personally, I have a lot of small changes that I'd like to make, and that I've made, to live a happier life. There's always been one major change in my life, which seems more like a mountain, that I've wanted to complete. The change I'm referring to is losing weight, and let me tell you, it has been a struggle.
Ever since middle school I've been a very insecure person, mainly due to my weight. When I was younger I never found the motivation to make a lifestyle change. I was thirteen for goodness sake and my best friend was literally a pack of Oreo's. I found excuses for myself to be the way I was.
Now that I'm older and have the ability to make decisions on my own, I've started to try to take care of this "change" in my life. I've purchased a gym membership (and I actually go, lol), I've stayed away from soda, and I've plastered my entire apartment with motivational quotes. Losing weight is something that I want so badly, not just to be skinnier, but to be healthier and live longer.
Despite my burning desire to make this change in my life, I've faced my obstacles.
One night after a long shift at work, I was driving home and my stomach started to grumble. I hadn't been grocery shopping in a few days, and I knew the best my kitchen had to offer me was a peanut butter and jelly on stale bread. Impulsively, I turned my car into the Taco Bell parking lot. I knew I shouldn't be eating fast food because that was number two on my list of things not to do, but I pulled up to where I placed my order anyways.
"Can I have a Chicken Cheesy Gordita Crunch and a side of Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes?"
No hesitation. In the heat of the moment, I didn't really care what I put into my belly, as long as it was fast. So I pulled up the window, asked for extra mild sauce and napkins. Because who can eat Taco Bell without being messy? No one. I paid for my bad food with the biggest smile on my face. I literally devoured my food in five seconds, which was not a sight you'd want to see.
Anyways, after all was said and done, I felt pretty sh*tty about myself. I broke a rule on my list to live a healthier lifestyle. How was I supposed to actually make a change in myself if I was going to be breaking rules? Once I broke one rule, you best believe it was in my mind that I could break more. I actually was so mad at myself for eating fast food that I actually cried.
Pathetic, I know. Anyways, I called my mom and she told me that everything was going to be alright. She told me that I need to take things one step at a time. God, I love how moms always know exactly what to say.
You can't change your entire life overnight. It's just not possible. No matter how badly you want something, it takes time. This change wasn't something that I could immediately make happen to my body. This lifestyle change that I want to make isn't going to be easy, and it's going to take time. I've realized this now, and now I'm a little less upset about my temporary lapse in judgment. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to start back again at "day one" if you have to!
If you're finding yourself struggling to make a change in your life, don't give up on yourself. That's the worst thing you could possibly do. It's not about how many times you ruin that diet, or you pick up that cigarette, it's about how many times you dedicate yourself to getting back on track. Thing's take time, and no matter what, you need to be gentle on yourself.
Keep your faith, and remember why you've committed yourself to this change. Keep that passion you had on the first day you decided to make whatever change you're making in your life. No matter what happens in this life, the most that you can do is keep trying.
And don't forget, you can't change your life overnight!
