Change comes in many forms. We change physically. We change mentally. We change emotionally. But the most unsettling tends to be changes in our relationships with others. Whether we make friends, we lose friends or we get our hearts broken, change is inevitable. And, while this might frighten some, change is a good and necessary thing in our lives. As we grow as individuals and evolve into the people we want to become, we inevitably experience a great deal of change in our relationships with others. It’s always good to reflect on who we once were, but change should never scare you. Change is an important piece in our own personal journey towards adulthood, and this can mean many people step into and out of our lives.
When I was in high school, I experienced more change than I was mentally equipped to handle. It hit fast and it hit hard. I had a group of friends that I was extremely close with. I would spend weekends with them and a majority of my free time during the week. But one day, I woke up and realized I no longer wanted to be friends with them. It was as simple as that. That group of friends weren’t really benefiting me much. They would get me into trouble, rag on me for the way I dressed and make me feel inferior to them and everyone else at my school. Though I liked them and they were fun at times, I knew they were doing very little for me and didn’t actually want the best for me. It took a little while for me to understand that in order for me to grow and succeed, I would need to part ways with them. And so I did.
When we are young we all experience unhealthy friendships—ones that are regressive in nature. People that drag us down and hold us back. In these instances, change is important and necessary. In order to progress, we must distance ourselves from those who don’t want to see us succeed. This goes for friendships in our adult life as well, for friendships play a major role in how we see ourselves. Who we surround ourselves with dictates the way we perceive the world around us. If we pass the day away with pessimistic individuals, those who hate anything and everything good in this world, we are going to feel fairly discouraged in our day-to-day routines. Sometimes, the people we choose to surround ourselves with act as a sort of security blanket, people who stay isolated and try to shelter you from the big bad world as well. This can be just as dangerous for an individual. If one is to get anything done, he or she needs to cut ties with this sort of person. Change in our social lives can be extremely beneficial and though it appears frightening at times, it is crucial in most instances for our own individual growth.
Love can be a bit trickier. It is tough to look a significant other in the eyes and tell them that we no longer want to be with them. One might argue that this is the most difficult form of change in our social lives. However, love is complex and we can convince ourselves that we love someone who genuinely doesn’t want the best for us. Change can be scary, and it is certainly difficult to veer away from someone you loved. It’s tough to say no to love at times and refuse the love of someone else. But, when we get older, we change. And sometimes who we begin dating at one part of our lives, doesn’t align with the next part. Breakups hurt, but the long-term benefits often outweigh the present short term heartache.
Essentially, everyone experiences change in social behavior in one way or another. We make friends. We lose friends. We find love. We lose love. But, this is a key piece to the puzzle. Life is a series of ups and downs. Certain things happen for a reason. If we are to allow ourselves to grow as individuals, sometimes we must embrace change instead of turn our backs on it. We must be willing to venture out and make necessary changes in our lives. We need to create meaningful relationships with individuals who want to see us succeed.
