Disclaimer: Spoilers ahead!

Like most college age women, I'm deep in Bachelor Nation. Like cramming 15 people in a tiny dorm room every Monday night to watch Ben Higgins search for love kind of deep. So you can imagine my excitement for sweet JoJo's "Bachelorette" premier and, if you've watched the season thus far, my disappointment at that first episode. And second and third.

But not this most recent episode.

It's a classic Bachelorette season: 20 wicked attractive (95% white of course) men, most already in love with a woman they haven't met, romantic one-on-ones and competitive group dates and, of course, one super jerk. And his name is Chad.

This article was going to be on how this season of the Bachelorette is oddly boring because of how well JoJo is doing looking for a husband out of a pool of pretty great guys, with the exception of Chad and his idiocy, which is the only thing the show focuses on. Because Chad is just your run-of-the-mill Bachelor douche-canoe, his escapades and tirades didn't make for very interesting TV. Here are some classic Chad quotes:

JoJo (Bachelorette): "What are all the things you love about me?"
Chad Johnson: "I feel like in the [proposal] moment you should already know that?"
J: "No, I'm a words of affirmation person, I need you to tell me."
CJ: "You need me to tell you all the things I love about you. Starting off a little naggy here."
Errebody else: *Shock*
CJ: "If I'm getting nagged, you bet I'm going to say something"

This is, of course, followed hours later by pathetic attempts to cover up that obvious blunder.

"It's like they've never dated a beautiful woman before." (6x)

Yes, let us continue to over and over refer to our girlfriend as just the generic "beautiful woman."

"I'm just being honest."

"No, I deserved first today"

"I honestly don't know why she chose him. James is obviously not going to be the one in the end. It doesn't even make any sense to me, really."

Granted, the Bachelor is a weird situation and no one wants to share their girlfriend with 20 other guys, but that how this show works. It's awkward but that's how it goes. He is constantly isolating himself and doesn't want to spend time with her at all if they are not together alone and away from everyone else.

"They don't love her, they just met her, they don't know anything about her. I don't know anything about her yet."

"JoJo doesn't want a performer, or an actor. She wants a man."

But but but, Chad, how could you simultaneous know nothing about JoJo AND exactly what she wants out of a relationship?

Ah, classic Bachelor douche-waffle. Nothing to be concerned about. But I started writing while watching the most recent episode that premiered on Tuesday, June 7, and I found myself totally enthralled in the ridiculous idiocy and sexism of Chad.

JoJo took Chad and Alex on a two on one date, and after hearing about Chad's violent threats, she confronts him. Here are some highlights from that chat:

CJ: "I haven't touched anybody since [you called me out]!"
Jojo: "But you've threatened to beat people."
CJ: "So they would be quiet!"
JoJo: "That's not the way to handle it, that's not the way to handle it."
CJ: "Well if you have a better idea, I'd love to hear it." *proceeds to throw cup*

CJ: "I'm unhappy with you."
Alex: "Yeah."
CJ: "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."

CJ: "He backed me into a corner, I had no other option."

These, readers, are not the rantings of the bruised man-ego (which is hilarious to watch on live TV). These are the words of someone with real violent potential. Threatening to beat people in order to keep them quiet? That's some abusive talk right there. He has no idea how to communicate with other people without resorting to violence to get them to see his way. There's no such thing as compromise in this guy's mind, and certainly no backing down. PTL that JoJo literally turned her back on him (in the best burn in Bachelor history) because it would come as no surprise to me if their relationship took a turn for the abusive if it continued.

Oh yeah, and when she turns him down he proceeds to call her a series of bleeped out words. Seriously.

"Tada, I'm great."--The Incredible Chad Johnson