Celebrity moms — Cardi B, Beyoncé, Kylie Jenner, and the rest of her Kardashian clan — are highly influential to young women all over the world. Whether they mean to or not, they shape the way that woman perceive parenthood and life post-birth. Many young women look up to these celebrities and fantasize about having a baby of their own.
Just like every fantasy, they're trying to sell, that is all it is — a fantasy. Their babies are worn like accessories and have become trendy like Paris Hilton, the early 2000s and lapdogs. What is so harmful about this, is that it puts it in people's minds that once you give birth, it is as if you were never pregnant in the first place.
When that "snap back" to your pre-baby body doesn't happen, you feel like you failed yourself.
When I found out I was expecting, I was one of the many that fell victim to the illusion. I zoomed into Kylie's Instagram photos and didn't see a single stretch mark. If Kylie didn't get stretch marks, then there is a chance I will not either. It sounds silly to think, but it is all I knew. These women made having a flawless post-baby body the norm. None of the moms on social media I followed had stretch marks. Not many people want to post their body if it doesn't meet societal standards of beauty.
It led me to believe moms don't have stretch marks.
Once I gave birth, I understood how naive I had been this entire time. Now that I attend new mom social groups I know how much moms struggle to accept their post-baby bodies. Women spend their entire lives being told skinny is beautiful. Within a matter of a few pregnant months, everything you worked so hard for is out the window. I will have a post-partum body for about 75% of my life. It is silly to think that a body I had for less than a decade is the only form of beauty.
I remember the disgust I had for the extra chunk on my thighs. Now every area of my body has an extra chunk. It is not just the extra weight gain. Every part of your body is different. I got stretch marks in areas you would never believe. My hips, my shoulders, my chest are just a few places that I feel comfortable talking about. My stomach has so many long purple lines that I close my eyes anytime I pass a mirror in my home while getting dressed.
Motherhood is beautiful, but sometimes I don't feel like it.
Social media is the queen of projecting unrealistic societal standards onto young impressionable woman and motherhood is no different. Most women cannot "snap back" like the stars in string bikinis and it's harmful to think otherwise.
