Dogs are basically awful. While a lot of people judge me for not liking these furry, happy creatures, there's a strict reason as to why I like cats.

1. Dogs are smelly.

Dogs have a natural stench to them. It doesn't matter how much you wash your dog. It will always stink. If you think your dog doesn't stink, you're noseblind.

Cats, on the other hand, don't have the same scent on their bodies. "But their litter boxes stink." Not if you clean them like you're supposed to. By the way, what's your argument? Dogs poop in your yard and if you don't find it, you step in it.

2. Dogs are high maintenance.

Want to go out of town for a couple days? Too bad. You have to hire someone to take care of your dog for you. Meanwhile, cats can be left home for a while and they can survive on their own. Just leave them enough food and water. They'll be fine.

Dogs are so needy. They require a lot of attention. They're always jumping on your lap and begging you to play with them when you really don't want to. A cat will leave you alone and make like a pretty ornament for your living room.

3. Dogs are obnoxious.

Seriously. Stop sniffing my crotch. Stop jumping on me. Stop trying to lick my face. You're gross. Get away.

Also, at least I don't have to worry about a leashless cat viciously attacking me when I'm on a walk on a nice sunny day.

When a dog barks, it's super loud and annoying. When a cat meows, at least it's cute and not going to wake the neighbors.

4. Dogs are not graceful.

I love that my cat can be trusted at home by herself without destroying the place. Yes, you can train your dogs not to chew up shoes and break vases, but cats don't have that issue in the first place.

While dogs just plow through everything, cats gently tiptoe around things.

5. Dogs are emotionally shallow.

Jack Byrnes says it all.

Dogs are gross. They jump on you, lick you, sniff you, and poop in your yard. Dogs are also annoying. They bark loudly, demand a lot of attention, and they need babysitters! Call me bitter, or maybe even rude, but someone had to say it.