Cats suck. I'm sorry, I said it. I will never be a cat person and there is no changing that. I don't mean to bash all you cat people and your trusty pets, but they aren't for me. I would never wish for something bad to happen to a cat, but they won't be hanging out in my house. There are about 400,000 reasons why not to get a cat, and these are just a few that come to mind:
1. They aren't dogs. Really, this should be all that anyone ever needed to hear but apparently that was not argument enough for some crazy people.
2. You buy a pet and then spend all your time looking for them.
3. They pee inside. Litter boxes are absolutely gross. Sand and pee. Smells good, huh?
4. They get on your counter top and their hair will end up in your food. Like come on, human hair in food is bad enough.
5. You can't take a cat for a walk. I think if you put a leash around a cat it would bite you.
6. I repeat, they aren't dogs.
7. They eat mice.
8. Kittens are cute, but cats are mean. They trick you into thinking they are sweet and cuddly then they get fat and start pouncing on people.
9. Taylor Swift likes cats.
10. You always have to worry about them getting outside because they can't survive outdoors.
11. Their food looks like puke. Pet food all looks gross I'll give you that, but cats in all their prissiness, have wet food making it 400x worse.
12. The phrase doesn't go "Cats are a man's best friend".
13. Hairballs. Enough said.
14. Villains in movies always have cats, so having a cat also means you are probably evil.
15. There is such a thing as a naked cat. I know there are other hairless animals, but a cat with no fur just looks unfinished and scary.
16. Did I mention they aren't dogs?
17. They hiss. Which is one hundred percent the brattiest noise in all of the world.
18. Literally everyone is allergic to them. So if you buy one, you better also buy a huge pack of allergy meds because your guests will need them.
19. In the case of an intruder, a cat will do absolutely nothing. Dogs are there to hold down the fort and bark if a stranger comes, cats would probably just run away.
20. You can't take a cat on vacation with you. A dog can enjoy the beach and run around with the whole family, but what would a cat do? Sit in the hotel room purring? How cool.
21. Walking past black cats is literally bad luck.
22. If someone told you that you reminded them of a cat, would you be happy about it?
I'm not saying never get a cat, but then again...yes I am. Cats are creepy. One day I am sure I'll have a cat and I will love to hate it, but for now I am boycotting cat ownership.
