Lately, I've been spending less time blog writing and more time playwriting. Never ever in my science-fiction obsessed years would I have thought I'd find myself writing for the stage. However, here's where life has terrifyingly and beautifully taken me. Welcome to my longest blog post 5ever.

As a senior, I've been rightfully getting a lot of questions about my future goals, future plans, future desires and even my future self. One of these questions has been: What will you do to make a difference and enact change in the world and your community?

I soon realized I am currently enacting an answer. On November 11, I came up with the idea to create a culture show to celebrate various aspects of Black/African-American culture as my capstone project for my Creativity, The Arts and Social Transformation (CAST) minor. The date of the show's inception is significant not only because it was 2 days after the election, but because it was my way of channeling the anger incited from the election and putting it into work in the capacities I could manage. This show has been where about 95 percent of my time and brainpower has been dedicated and thus far has been an absolute experience.

This concept of bonding creativity with enacting social change is the objective of my minor and is one that has allowed me to explore my own heritage and culture in celebration and (hopefully) has inspired others to do the same.

My goals in this were to provide a space that was non-existent and to pay it forward. Unfortunately, there hasn't been a performance similar, specific to the existence of Black/African-American individuals. Yet, not only was this space non-existent in the performative sense, but in the collective as well. From my personal experience, the black community on my campus is often one that can support one another, and without this support this entire show wouldn't even be possible. S/O to the Brandeis Black Student Organization and ALL of my volunteers. You guys are lit.

However, the community is also one that can feel disconnected at times too, mostly coming together and joining arms in moments of tragedy. These moments are more than important, however; as someone beautiful once said to me, "I want to be there to support you through the hard times and celebrate in the good." And so I sought to create space for joy and celebration. For acknowledgement and unapologetic existence. And simultaneously, a space for togetherness, for laughter and wholeness. For love of self and each other.

The show itself has grown into much more since then, even though it hasn't yet occurred, and is truly uniting the community.

Sometimes I feel like this is something I should have done later in life, especially as things get more hectic closer to the show date. Yet, I've always admired those who can take their idea and put it into action instead of simply leaving it as an idea, and so I sought out to become the people I admired, while admiring a part of myself in the process. In this short period of time I've been able to hone in on many of my skills in terms of public relations, networking, advertising, marketing, community building, leading and more. As far as being a writer, an artist, a painter, a director, a producer, a poet ... a chef (?) ... there are many more things I can't think of at the moment.

There are days where I have to sit and be still, put a pause on sending e-mails and messages, eat some cereal, watch some Powerpuff Girls. Though the show is only a week or so away (T-11 days but who's counting?), I am also recognizing how emotionally taxing doing this work specifically has been. I have been trying to write about the systematic and institutionalized issues of blackness while America constantly throws itself into a flux of backward movement. Black lives and lives of other POC are constantly disregarded in this country and in the world. I'm repeatedly exposed to the injustices present here when I'm simply on social media to promote the show, and it sometimes feels like the work is for naught––but I'm equally reminded every day of the merit in it.

And so, many aspects of this are still processing, like the annoying buffering symbol on the computer.

But in a good way. Just slowly. Very slowly.

I can often feel like I'm on autopilot, driven by some unknown force to simply accomplish the goals I have set forth. But there have been plenty of positives to this process too.

I've taken up more African-American literature than I ever have, 1. Not only for my own personal development but to study it in a way that I haven't before, and 2. To enjoy it and see the spaces where I am represented (basically I just sit there nodding at the books because they keep it real).

To say this would strike close to home would be an understatement, 1. Because of obvious melanated reasons, and 2. Because over the winter break, I visited the African-American History Museum in my hometown. Reflecting on this visit is something that deserves a blogpost of its own, and even though I only made it through the basement and top level of the museum (skipping the middle levels from sheer emotional exhaustion), I am still processing the experience.

Despite the fact that I have gone through ups and downs––mostly downs––of feeling like "I'm not ready for this," "This is too hard," "This is horrifying/scary," "What if my work is not enough," I am choosing to be enough. I am choosing to be okay with this place I am in, in my life right now. I am choosing to be the Black woman that it took many Black women to raise, and to uplift them and myself and those around me in the process.

I'm choosing this love, this action, this active protest, this creative culmination of the capabilities of all things Black as my contribution to myself now, my community, my life and Black lives worldwide.

My love manifests itself in loving myself unabashedly, wholly and unapologetically.

In the vein of writing things to my future self like my 9th grade English teacher assigned, this is for future me: Thank you for aspiring past your fears.

And to past me: Thank you for being Unapologetically Black.

Me to me (not in the kermit way y'all):

We Gon’ Be Alright.

It is more than crucial to do this work now than ever in life, especially with all of the current chaos of the world. I am immensely grateful and inspired by all of the support I have received and am looking forward to making something that hopefully inspires many others too.

Be easy.