I want to bottle up all the happiness in the world and give it to you. I've met many people in this world who deserve complete happiness, but never someone who deserves it as much as you. I'm not allowed to have these feelings and I'll rarely act on them because I cannot lose you as my best friend. I can tell you anything and everything and I refuse to lose that. I refuse to lose the nights full of laughter and staying up until 6 a.m. It just sucks so much because either way, I'm sacrificing something.
It's hard to not have these feelings when I look at you because when I look at you it feels like home. Laughing with you reassures me that I will always have a reason to laugh. You understand when I do and don't want to talk about something. You understand me when no one else does. I can sit in complete silence with you and be totally happy. I don't feel sad when you're around... Which is strange because I feel like my depression consumes me all the time. Even though I may not be your best friend, you are definitely mine.
I want to be the person you tell everything to. You don't have to have the same feelings for me as I do for you; just continue to be my best friend and I'll be happy. I can't fall for you. It will ruin everything and you have to promise me that we won't ruin this. I would rather see you with a million other girls than lose our friendship. As much as it sucks, it's the truth.
They don't teach us how to deal with stuff like this in school. I can find the slope, but I can't figure out how to deal with these feelings. If I allow myself to fall for you, I'm sacrificing our friendship. If I don't allow myself to fall for you, I'm sacrificing the possibility of loving you. But, in all honesty, how can I love you if I don't love myself? Oh, wait... I can because when I'm with you, I don't hate myself... No. No. Stop. That's my heart talking again. You're my friend. My best friend and that's all we can be... Maybe.
All I ask is for you to stick with me. I will be there for you until the end of time. If you need something, I will be there before you know it. If you're weak, I'll be strong for you. When you feel like you have no one left in this world, I will be there. I don't ever want you to feel alone. I am willing to put aside all my feelings just so you always have someone to turn to. I value our friendship more than anything else in this world. I've had my heart broken many times. I can get over that. But, I don't think I could get over the heartbreak of losing you as my best friend.
