Sometimes the world can be so overwhelming it feels like I'm stuck in the middle of the ocean with the waves crashing over me and I can't breathe.
Sucked down, deeper and deeper I go.
Crash after crash, I struggle to catch my breath.
I'm stuck in the ocean, struggling to breathe. I'm reaching my hand out for whoever to come save me, but there's no one on the horizon to come to my rescue. No one even close. I can hear the distant calls of those who love me, yelling my name to come out of the water, but I’m stuck.
Crash
Crash
Down I go back into the darkness that once consumed my life for so long that I thought I had escaped. Back to the darkest days of my life where leaving my bed was thought impossible. To where turning down invitations to go out was part of my daily routine. To feeling like there is no one out there who cares enough to swim out and grab my hand.
It’s a scary thought. That no one out there cares enough to swim out to save you. That the darkness is closing in and there’s no one around to help light your way out of the darkness.
I pray everyday that the Lord will send me a hand to come help me up out of the water. And I was starting to lose all hope that He was even listening to me until today.
Today I received a simple text message from one of the few people that I can truly rely on. Here’s what this text said that led to this groundbreaking moment I just had:
Hi
How is it possible? That something so simple could lead me to completely lose myself in my car? Balling my eyes out, I lost it for a solid five minutes. I was in denial that my depression was back until that moment. That moment, reading that simple text, everything became real to me.
Depression is something that can terrify anyone just at the simple utter of the word. It’s a scary thing to even admit to having. I was in denial for years that I was suffering. But realizing that I could put a name to the emotion, or lack there of, was like getting a breath of fresh air after drowning for years.
If you are out there reading this right now and you think you are struggling with depression, here’s my advice to you.
Talk to someone, anyone.
Just even slightly mention it to a close friend during a casual conversation. Because I guarantee that if you get it out there that you think you might be depressed, someone is going to swim out there to come save you. And do you know why? Because there are so many people around out that do in fact love you. They love you so much. Even when it feels like there is nothing or no one in the whole entire world that could possible love you. Some out there does. And if you still don’t believe me, I know that this is true because I have been where you have been. I have felt there is no one out there that could possibly care about me. That even though so many people said that they do care, that they were just saying that because they felt sorry for me. It took me a long time to finally realize that those people who say they care about me, actually meant it. Sure you could encounter someone who doesn’t, but for the most part those caring people out there are genuine.
So do me a favor, tell someone. Tell someone and allow them to swim out and save you. Allow them to shine a light on the path out of the darkness. Let them love on you.
