When I was first approached with the question of taking a break in my long distance relationship it came as a shock. I thought to myself, no this isn't a good idea. We live a 1000 miles apart and a break could really hurt our relationship. After a few long hours of thinking about how we were both feeling and what we wanted out of each other I figured alright, why not give this crazy idea a chance. The first step of the break was to evaluate what we were trying to accomplish. Did we want to see other people? Did we just want space? Or, were we trying to change something about our personalities? Once that was figured out we went along and had the hardest goodbye we had ever said. The break was only set for 4 days time but this was 4 more days than we had spent in the last 2 years not talking. The break had began and we quickly realized that we now had this weird single feeling and it wasn't going to go away for 4 days minimum.
If you are thinking of taking a break with your boyfriend or girlfriend my first piece of advice is to have a group of friends to hangout with and occupy your mind at least for the first day. Go out and be proactive. My friends and I went to dinner together and then went out for the night. It proved to be very helpful in keeping calm and seeing how this change in lifestyle actually felt. I now had the freedom to do what I want without thinking of how it would effect my partner. My friends would laugh at me because I would be afraid to go out and dance because I didn't want to draw extra attention to myself because I had a boyfriend. For this time period I was free of it and could loosen up which felt really good. Having friends around not only kept my mind off of the situation but also helped me realize that I had been holding myself back.
The second day was a lot harder than the first because I didn't know how this was effecting my boyfriend. He had blocked me on social media as of his request to not see how my 4 days were going and it started to really suck. I found myself being really curious about what he was doing with his time. This was a good telling sign to me that I still wanted to be with him. My goal during the process was to find that love that we always had and make it new again. The disconnect on all levels actually proved to be a blessing in disguise even though it hurt for a while.
I think the 3rd day was really the roughest. I had the whole day planned to do homework, hangout with friends, and do things that only single people usually do. I went to a coffee shop by myself and people watched couples to see how they interact with each other. I noticed the little quirks within their relationship like hand holding and laughing when one of them makes a silly face. It reminded me that these are things you forget when you have been with someone for a long time. The small things actually make a huge difference when you take a step back and look at things from an outside view.
Upon going out that same night my friends told me that I needed to see what it was like for me to flirt with a different guy. I was kind of opposed to it at first because I haven't done anything with anyone else but him for almost two years. They reminded me that this is a sure fire way to know if this break was going to be a break up or just an aid in our relationship. So with my new outlook, a cute outfit, and confidence I went out with my friends and got that experience. They say when you kiss someone you can tell how you really feel. Well simply the only feeling I felt was a weird longing feeling for something else. I knew exactly what that meant. I needed my boyfriend.
The next day we talked about how this went for each other and were completely honest about the entire thing. He told me that he realized he had not been the most supportive person during the past while and he now knew that he needed to have that shock in order for him to wake up and not lose what was in front of him. It was nice to hear that he thought he was being too overprotective and unhappy and wanted to change that so I would be happy. I told him that I missed the small things and I felt that I under appreciated him. In the end we got back together but loosened the reins that held us from being happy with each other even though we are 1000 miles apart.
If you are thinking of doing that crazy break thing I say do it. It honestly was the best thing that could have happened to our relationship. It gave us that chance to really reevaluate what we both wanted in our relationship and what we wanted for ourselves. It was definitely an eye opening experience and I think that if done correctly could benefit any relationship whether long distance or not. I am not guaranteeing that all relationships will end up like mine after a break but I am going to say that what happens after is what is meant to happen. If you find that you are truly happy now that you aren't together, then you were not meant to be. Go into this with an open mind and be ready for a challenge like no other.
