Some days are hard. That’s the brutal truth. Things don’t go exactly the way you have planned, the worst-case scenario becomes a reality, or it’s just one of “those” days when you find yourself hurting, and honestly, you just want answers from God.
For me, personally, things are starting to get hard. In less than two months, I graduate from college. I’m excited, I count down the days, I’m over the moon about it.. but there’s this part of me that can only focus on the fact that this is just another milestone that my sister won’t be here for.
When I let myself realize that, it hurts. My heart just aches sometimes because I know that I’m getting to live and experience things that she never got to in her time on Earth. It hurts, really, knowing that such an incredible person never had the chance to see the beautiful things that the world has to offer.
Then, I remember that she is SO much better off in heaven than any of us are down here.
I listen to a lot of music when I drive, like, a lot of music. Recently, I've found that my daily drive has become the perfect time for my daily worship, my time with God, and one song, in particular, has been coming through my speakers a lot lately. A song my sister loved, a song that reminds me of where she is, a song that makes me realize just how incredible of a place we all have in store for us - "I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe. I can't put into words the comfort it brings me, even in the midst of my tears.
"Surrounded by your glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you, Jesus, or in awe of you be still? Will I stand in your presence? Or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah?Will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine."
This comfort is mainly because he's right. I can only imagine the beauty of the place that the Lord has prepared for us. I can only imagine the praise, the worship that fills the air. I can only imagine the joy, the laughter that can be heard throughout the streets. I can only imagine the golden streets and the pearly gates. I can only imagine my sister, completely healthy, looking down on all of us with a smile on her face.
Most of all, though, I can only imagine how incredible it must be to stand in the presence of our Lord. I can only imagine the overwhelming love, the complete and total awe, the love one must feel at that moment.
That song keeps me going on the hardest days, it gives me comfort in just knowing that even though there are so many things that she is missing and so many things she never got to do, she is in a place full of love, laughter, praise, worship, and joy - and that's something that I can only imagine.
"I can only imagine when all I will do. is forever - forever worship You."