It's the question that people have been asking for years and years: Can men and women really be just friends? Some people would automatically say no. There's no way men and women can be just friends because physical attraction inevitably becomes a problem. Others would say absolutely! Of course, men and women can be friends. It's just like any other friendship!
But it's not. And I think trying to deny that is part of why this question is so complex. We can't deny that a male and female friendship is different then one between people of the same gender. But I think the other part of this problem is expecting there to be a clear cut answer. So can a man and woman really be just friends? Well, I think it just depends.
It's all about context.
First of all, what is the relationship status of the two friends. If they are both in separate romantic relationships with other people, then I think it's actually easier. There's no misinterpreting the level of their friendship because it is clear they are both dating someone. You also don't have to be as concerned with the problem of attraction because again, both people are in a relationship.
I'm not saying you can't be attracted to someone you aren't dating. Obviously being in a relationship doesn't make you blind to good looking people. I do think you're less inclined to focus on a person's physical appearance if you're in a relationship. Even then, the simplicity of this friendship can be thrown out the window depending on how the two people handle it.
One major red flag for anything in a relationship is if you feel the need to lie about it. The second you have to lie about anything in your relationship is the second things become troublesome. If you can't be honest with your partner about it, then you really shouldn't be doing it. If you think your boyfriend or girlfriend just wouldn't be okay with the specific person you're becoming friends with, then you should stop and consider why they feel that way. They may have some really valid reasons.
The key is, you have to communicate in order to find that out. So if the two friends are honest with their partners and with each other, then I think men and women can definitely be just friends! I think it's as simple as you make it.
With that being said, if a man and women are both single and are just friends, then circumstances change a little. To repeat, friendships between people of opposite gender is more difficult if you try to pretend it isn't. If you're both single, then you do have to consider that one person may develop feelings for the other. You may even both develop feelings, and it could lead to a romantic relationship! Which is why it could actually be easier if two friends are both dating someone else.
Either way, the main point remains the same: if you both communicate what you want and what you expect of the friendship, then it can definitely work. And that requires you to be honest with yourself. Although I do think you can be just friends with someone of the opposite sex, I don't think you can be friends with someone you have feelings for. Deep down, we can all usually tell the difference between romantic and platonic feelings for someone, and the way we act on those feelings will also make the biggest difference. Even if you are attracted to someone you're just friends with, but you never think about acting on it, then I think a genuine friendship can still exist. I really think it all comes down to how honest you are with yourself regarding your emotions.
Finally, one other major component to whether or not men and women can be just friends depends on how the friendship is formed. If you've known each other for years, and there's never been any sense of romance, then obviously you can make it work because you already have. You just have to be okay with the fact that eventually one or both of you will be in a relationship at some point.
If you're truly friends, then that won't change.
The amount of time you spent together will change; and the person you're each dating will become your priority. That doesn't mean you'll stop being friends. You'll just have to adjust. Just like romantic relationships have to grow and develop, so do friendships.
So can men and women truly be just friends? I don't know! There isn't one answer to this question. Every relationship is different, and so is every friendship. It can definitely work. It just takes honest and consistent communication.
But then again, what relationship or friendship doesn't?
