Over the course of this extremely spastic and exhilarating weekend i happened to come across a multitude of new and slightly horrifying experiences.
Friday is where it all began, two hours of unforgiving road in my friends Honda civic. For confidentiality reasons his name will remain anonymous, and throughout the duration of the story will be referred to as "White Chocolate". So White Chocolate (pronounced shaq-o-latte) and I began our journey exactly a 4:20 pm, the trip stated previously would be from Lee County, Fort Myers to Bufu, Miami. The purpose behind this trip was simple; to see the one and only Kanye West live in the American Airlines Arena. White Chocolate had called in a favor from corporate and was granted an early Christmas present from the higher ups in Parents Incorporated ( Its a family company). It was previously agreed that since my ticket was "Complimentary" i would be responsible for the parking fees. I was truly baffled at the fact that the parking was so close and a mere 15 beans, but you're never going to believe how long it took us to actually park. So here we are trying to back into the space and White Chocolate, with just an astronomical amount of force, blindly smacks the woman running the lot's torso. We both get out of the car and look at each other like "what the hell did we just hit" lo and behold there's a solid 210 pound middle-aged Latina woman laid out, arms out in this glorified sandlot. Luckily, she was more focused on the money then she was her own well-being. Personally, I saw a big dent in her chest. I attempted to notify her of the large dent in her upper torso, but she was not having it, she simply told us to give her the money and take our leave. We took the route of "the law abiding citizen" and obliged her by leaving the lot scott-free and happy as could be. Now comes the good part, security was the first checkpoint to reaching the final boss of "YEEZUS". But they knew our plans as soon as we hit the gate. Our camera was confiscated on sight (no pun intended), although we pleaded with excuses like "but sir we are blind, we need the camera to see the performance" they kept feeding us responses like, "it's not up to us, it's up to Kanye" and we looked up at them with such looks of disgust, proceeded to suck up our pride and hit the old dusty trail on the way to "la vie du pablo". White chocolate had been to a multitude of Kanye hosted events before, and so he knew how to navigate through the masses without looking like a complete blunderbuss. As soon as we entered the American Airlines Arena White coco made a B-line for merchandise stands. It was here that i made one of the most important decisions that any college must make; Would i rather eat or look cute. Lets just say i misplaced 50 dollars and soon after a hat had magically appeared on my noggin. After watching White Chocolate drop 200+ on kanye gear and watching it get bagged up we both decided it was time to find our seats and wait for the show to begin.
