To the young and and single ladies,

I encourage you to look past all those rom coms, the cute couples on Instagram and your roommate’s third boyfriend of the month. Being in your early twenties is a period of self-reflection and growth. You are just starting to learn what it’s like to be on your own and figure out how you fit into the world.

There may be a time in your life when you have a job and/or a family and won’t have time to genuinely focus on yourself. I still hear college girls complaining about the need to find a man. Sure, the single life can get lonely now and then, but there are so many benefits of being young and single.

I can attest to having friends get into relationships and then slowly disappearing out of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I understand. When you’re in a relationship, you want to just spend the day hugging and kissing your boyfriend/girlfriend. Nevertheless, you often end up neglecting your friends and missing out on opportunities. Additionally, some girls may forget about what they are passionate about because all their passion is directed to that one person.

As a young woman myself, I have an interest in all kinds of things and I want to be able to explore and learn more about. Being single allows you to focus on those passions. Of course, having a boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t prevent this from happening, but it does take away a lot of your time. Instead of planning for a date, you can be planning to apply for an internship or trying to organize a new club on campus.

Being single can allow you to be less distracted and accomplish things that you might have swept under the rug if you decided to spend the day sending kissing emojis to bae. How can you really get to know yourself when you’re busy trying to get to know someone else?

Lastly, letting yourself be single is the best way to fall in love with yourself. I may sound like a broken record here, but it’s absolutely true. I feel way more confident in myself as a single woman than I did when I was in a relationship. Being on my own for three years gave me the chance to embrace who I am and what I value. This is crucial for when I decide to be in a relationship again in the future because I will know how I will want that person to treat me.

So don’t feel bad if you don’t have a man/woman at your side. The single life is much more exciting than being in a relationship. Hell, you have the freedom to kiss anyone you want (with their permission, of course). Go study abroad without having to worry about chatting to your significant other every night. Or jump in the car and go on a spontaneous road trip. Whatever you decide to do, make sure that you do it for you.