During the past few months I have learned one very important thing; stop feeling so bad for yourself. Chances are nothing is as bad as you make it seem in your own mind. Some events seem life changing and worthy of mourning. While that is true, we must keep in mind that there is a certain time period set aside for this to last. However, going beyond this time constraint can be detrimental to yourself. Pity parties are never fun, especially when you're the only guest. Indulging excessively in self pity is nothing short of unproductive. You are not the best version of yourself; everyday activities become monotonous, enjoyable things become harder to find, and life is just dull. Despite constantly blaming the world around you for your constant state of woe, there is no one to blame other than yourself. Sulking only prolongs the effects of whatever it is you feel the need to dwell on. At times like this it is hard to believe that other things are going on around you because you are wrapped up in your own selfish obsession. For all members of the pity party, there are some things you must keep in mind:
No one is going to keep feeling bad for you.
Although initially many people will care for your hurt feelings regarding whatever the current issue may be, this will not last. Sooner or later people are going to become tired of your sulking.
Stop looking for sympathy.
By all means, vent it out. However, once you get it all out, be done. After a while we become redundant and even a nuisance. In the time you spend looking for someone to coddle your broken feelings, you could be mending them yourself. No one is going to help you if you cannot help yourself.
No one around you is making it worse. You are.
By dwelling on whatever the incident is only makes matters worse. You cannot expect to feel better by consistently speaking and/or talking about it. Whatever you may see on social media or overhear in passing is not what is making it worse; you are. Get some will power, rid yourself of all these decorations at your pity party.
You cannot change the past, you must move on.
Past events happen for a reason, you cannot change them. What you can do, however, is accept the fact that they happened and move on. No amount of hoping, wanting or praying will change things, and no amount of crying, self-loathing or complaining will either. Make peace with your past and move on.
Alone-time is my favorite time when I feel the need to indulge in some good ole self-loathing; however, I found that there are some better ways to spend that time:
1. Go for a run.
2. Lay out in the grass and read a book.
3. Go shopping.
4. Dig up that old instrument and give it another go.
5. Paint a canvas, so what if you aren't too good at it?
6. Write a short story or a poem.
7. Take a trip to a place you haven't been to.
8. Allow yourself time to heal, not time to dwell.
Everyone deserves to throw a pity party once in a while; however, we all must remember not to over-stay our welcome. Life happens, things go awry, but this doesn't mean we can waste away in our own self doubt and pity. Stop becoming a shell of your original self and stop waiting for someone to make you feel better.
Be productive. Be happy.
