So, I had to call off my wedding.

Our original date was next month.

"Oh my! Are you okay? What happened?"

"I thought you two were so happy! What happened?"

"Does that mean it's postponed, or will there never be one? What happened?!"

"What happened?"

"What happened?"

"What HAPPENED?!"

Well, I'll tell you what happened. We woke up one day and realized that we wanted things that were too different for our wanted futures to be compatible. I wanted to go one way, and my now ex fiancé (we'll call said person A) wanted to go another. We still love each other dearly. We still care what happens to the other one, but we have a strong feeling that one day we just won't be able to get past the differences to be able to stay happily married like you see in the movies.

You see, I want to be the Dean of Students at a college or university one day, and my partner wanted a quiet life in the countryside away from people... The type of so far in the country that if you stand naked on your front or back porch, no one will be able to see you in all your splendor. You can see how those two life goals are too different to co-exist easily. This was a large factor of why we decided we should go our separate ways romantically.

There is nothing wrong with having to call off a wedding. There is nothing wrong with admitting you and your partner have flaws and differences, and there certainly is NOTHING wrong with removing yourself from a situation that could be harmful to your mental or physical well being. (That didn't apply to me necessarily, but it's still perfectly acceptable to leave for those reasons.) You'll thank yourself one day when you find that special someone who completes you in every way you needed completing.

We had started talking about marriage a little less than a year ago. A month or so after that is when he proposed when he found out he was going to be leaving for the Air Force's version of boot camp. (He never did end up going, but he is much happier he chose that path instead of leaving me and everything else behind.) On the day he proposed, I had my bridal entourage, and I had a large chunk of attendants as well. We were set with our people. We only needed to come up with the money. Well, that never happened either, but at least, we didn't end up wasting anyone's time, energy, or too much of our own money on something that will never happen.

However, what made this split the hardest is the fact that we lived together already. We had to sit down and make lists of what was specifically ours, what we shared, and how we were going to divide the things that were joint gifts or we had bought for the household all while still upset and distraught from the conversation the night before. At the time of writing this article, I am still trying to gather and move all of my things from the small apartment that I called home for nearly two years. You accumulate more belongings than you can possibly imagine in that amount of time. In fact, I am leaving a large amount of things there, because I would feel bad for my ex to not be able to use them anymore when they made our lives so much easier. For example, I purchased the microwave and kitchenware for the apartment, but since I moved back in with my parents, I don't need them now. There is no point for me to take it with me and be selfish when my ex could use it more.

Now, how do you get over the emotional aspects of separating from the person you were about to call your spouse? Well, you sort of don't. At least, I don't think you do. You will always love that person if you ended on good terms. You will still always care what happens to them even if you end up not talking one day. It depends on the reasons you split and how abusive your partner had been if they had been at all. Mine wasn't. Not in the least. In fact, if he even just touched me, an apology would soon follow for scaring me if I hadn't been expecting it. It was actually incredibly adorable. The way that I am trying to "heal" is by remembering that we are staying friends throughout all of this unless one of us wrongs the other in some unimaginable way.

We do not hate each other. There are no bitter feelings as of yet. We didn't argue about who got what item even though we each asked for some specific things of the other's. In fact, the only time we had been hurt was during the discussion that led to us realizing we were too different, and at least for me, the day after when we woke up in separate rooms and realized that it actually happened.. We hurt ourselves for not realizing it sooner. For me personally, I was disappointed in myself and that we had never had a serious talk about what we wanted for the future, and if I was able to read him correctly, he was disappointed in me as well for similar reasons. We still aren't mad at each other though. These things sometimes happen.

We took the mature route to end things that could have had potential to drive us apart instead of going through with a wedding, because we had already invested so much time and effort into the process and relationship. We will be much happier in the end. We will be stronger in our next relationships. We will be able to sympathize with our friends if they ever find themselves in this type of situation, and we will certainly be able to laugh at this one day when we're old and still playing video games online while our future spouses are doing something that makes them happy.

Calling off your wedding is not the end of the world, and it is certainly not the end of your happiness. Calling off your wedding is the fresh start to a new chapter of your life, and it will be a chapter of love and bliss when you do find the special someone that thinks your flaws are adorable and wants to treat you like the royalty you are. If you find yourself needing to call off what is supposed to be the happiest day in your life, you can do it even if it doesn't feel like it. You can do it.