If Someone You Care About Is Hurting You, Call Them Out

If Someone You Care About Is Hurting You, Call Them Out

Your happiness is worth losing a friend or two.

We've all been there; someone we care about does something that hurts our feelings. It's a hard situation, especially if you don't know whether or not it was done purposefully to hurt you.

We live in a world where communication is a foreign concept to many, making these situations extremely common. When this happens, you're left wondering what your role was in the situation. What prompted this person to do such a thing?

You'll sit there wondering what you could have possibly done to cause this to happen. But here's the thing, it's rarely ever your fault. Unless you know for a fact that you did something to prompt their hurtful actions or words, odds are their decision was made completely on their own.

Not only does this world lack communication, but it also lacks empathy for others. People do things for their own benefit, neglecting to think how their actions may affect others, especially those closest to them. It's ridiculous when these "slip-ups" in thought range from forgetting to text back to sleeping with someone's significant other.

I've realized, after many years of dealing with thoughtless people, that calling someone out on their bullshit is the right way to handle these situations. Why would you allow someone to think they can get away with treating you like garbage?

At first, it can be daunting. It's hard to stand up for yourself, especially when your friend's motives are unknown. I'll admit, it's easier when you know for a fact you've been played for a fool. I'm not saying it is a good idea to go after someone with claws drawn because it's not.

If you're going to call someone out, be as polite as you can without being a pushover. Being polite will give you a certain edge. Think about it as the perpetrator in this situation; the person you thought you could screw over was called out and still remained super calm about it... I'd be terrified.

After you've called them out, their reactions may vary. They may realize you're not a force to be reckoned with, and they may never betray you again, or, the more likely reaction, they completely freak out, knowing they're in the wrong, and ignore you from then on.

Calling someone out definitely means risking losing them, and as scary as that may seem, I think it's worth it. After someone has hurt you, why would you want them back into your life? I know I wouldn't want to be associated with someone who ignores my feelings.

So do it; call them out. Your happiness is worth losing a friend or two.

Cover Image Credit: Pxhere

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Losing A Grandparent Changed My Life

Live for them, and give them a legacy to be proud of.

Death isn’t what the average 20-something thinks about every day. You don’t think it will happen to you, or the people around you. You know that it exists because you see heart-wrenching reports on the news daily of another life lost to ignorance or hate.

Yes, losing a grandparent definitely changes your life. For some of us, it's a drastic change. To others: they knew it was coming. Still, some weren't even close to their grandparents because they lived too far away from each other to build a relationship in person.

I can't even fathom that considering both of my grandparents lived a city away from me or across town. They are your second set of parents and the love you've had for your entire life. They are the lessons learned and the ones holding your hand through it all.

When my grandfather died (affectionately known to me as Papa), my life changed. I watched him take his last breath in the hospital alone. I called my mother to tell her that her father died. In that moment: my emotionally sheltered life was torn apart. In that moment: I had to grow up. The person I had leaned on my entire life was gone.

I literally reconsidered everything I had done in my life in a matter of hours. I thought about college, finally graduating and walking across that stage: cords swinging and my tassel hanging there. That was his biggest dream for me, we were only a year away from it when he left this earth.

When a grandparent passes they take a part of you: big or small. When you were younger you planned out life with them. You shared your dreams with them, your insecurities, your childish ways and most of all you shared your love.

They, in turn, taught you lessons about life, helped you realize those dreams, and never let you go without being told you were loved every single time they saw you. They are the suppliers of happiness, security, and laughs. Friends come and go, but your family stays with you forever.

The bottom line is: most everyone knows what it's like to lose a grandparent. We all cope differently, and leaning on others is the best way to keep yourself up. Facing the reality of death is the only way we can accept it and move on. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting, it means understanding. We were lucky enough to have these amazing people to guide us through our younger years, teaching us these vital lessons.

I can't tell you how many times a day I wish I had my papa back. Learning to cope without them is the hardest part, even years later. Grandparents prepare you for life's greatest gains. Little did they know they would be their grandchildren's biggest loss. Live for them, and give them a legacy to be proud of.

Cover Image Credit: Author's photo

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5 Times Your Depression Is Likely To Make You A Terrible Roommate

Mental health is the biggest factor sometimes into one's actions. Watching this happen to someone you love or even yourself can be depressing.


Over the past few months, I've noticed that depression really sucks. Of course, everyone knows that. I didn't really realize that having serious depression would affect the people around me until my roommates and some friends started getting frustrated by my actions. Once I was confronted, I started seeing everything that I was doing, and it's truly awful and if I were in my roommate's shoes, I would be irritated as well.

1. When you stop acknowledging their presence

Whenever my roommates would come home, I don't even notice. I don't say hi and I don't even talk when they talk to me. I focus on what I'm doing. My energy is too gone to make idle conversation.

2. When you stop cleaning up after yourself

I leave my shoes everywhere, that's my big mess. I have a million shoes and I leave them everywhere. I don't pick up after my dog when she leaves her toys everywhere. My dirty dishes pile up where I leave them. The list goes on.

3. You don't take care of your own room

This is one of the biggest tells in depression. I'm not usually very messy. I'm messy but I always clean up after myself. Now, it takes me weeks to even attempt to straighten up my room. It also ends up getting dirtier within a few hours because I'm careless with my things.

4. You don't take care of yourself and it shows

Making myself look decent has never been one of my favorite things but wearing the same clothing day after day can become a little strange and questionable. Just as well as not brushing my hair or styling it (which I love to do).

5. You avoid any sort of 'hang out' with them.

I've avoided and decline any kind of hang out with them or go to a function with them there. I don't like the social interaction and I know that I'm not feeling up to it, so I just avoid it altogether.

There are so many other things that depression affects when it comes to being a roommate. However, some of those things are too personal. If you have a roommate that is going through some similar symptoms, be careful. Addressing it is hard, talking to them about it is hard, and if not brought up carefully, it can lead the roommate into a further depression. I'm grateful that it was brought to my attention, but I also know that I didn't want to leave my room for weeks. I hated myself even more and the thought that other people noticed the bad habits I had taken up, I thought they hated me too.

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