Never. It is never okay to call someone fat. I have prolonged writing about this issue because it has affected my life in a multitude of ways but I couldn't possibly remove all the acrimony from my tone in order to write about this objectively. Honestly, I don't think I will ever be able to add to this discussion without anger and apprehension. Recently, something happened to me that became my motive to openly share my feelings on this matter: Two women I barely know made callous comments about my weight. Before anyone assumes that these women made comments on the grounds of concern for my well-being and wished to inspire me to change my eating habits, you should know that they maliciously targeted me in front of others in an attempt to embarrass me. If they had pulled me aside, expressed their concerns in a cordial manner, this article may have never been written. Instead, they noted that I was "too young to be so fat" and that I should "stop eating bread" because I had a "big belly." The issue that I see with these comments goes far beyond the fact that they insulted me. In that moment, I represented every young girl who has ever struggled with her weight. I represented every young girl who has tried a fad diet in an attempt to lose a couple pounds only to gain them back the following week. I represented every young girl who has soldiered malicious comments about her weight in the moment, but later went home to look in the mirror and felt ashamed of her reflection. I am so sickened that comments like these are made to young girls every day and nothing is being done to encourage these girls to love themselves and build confidence. I don't know when we forgot that building each other up is more important than tearing each other down.
The reason why making comments about someone's weight is inadmissible is because someone's relationship with his/her weight is a very complex and personal one. There are so many factors and conditions that dictate someone's weight that it cannot possibly be simplified to solely eating habits. One should never feel obligated to explain his/her weight to others but for the sake of disclosing the reason why criticizing someone's weight is wrong, I will explain some factors that can contribute to weight gain or inhibited weight loss. One example would be medical conditions such as: chronic stress, hypothyroidism, polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and depression. These conditions have been proven to cause weight gain or prevent weight loss even without excessively eating. In addition, some medications may also hinder weight loss but may be a necessary aspect of someone's health and well-being. Some examples include antihistamines for allergies, antidepressants, Valproic acid for seizures, Actos and Avandia for diabetes and prediabetes, and insulin. With this in mind, we can understand that weight is complicated and dependent on many circumstances.
Truthfully, someone's weight shouldn't matter. As creative and intelligent beings, we are much more than our bodies. As people who are capable of creating the wheel, atomic bombs, anesthesia, computers, the internet, electricity and the automobile; it is insulting to be defined simply by our physical state. Focusing only on enforcing a certain beauty standard rather than the beautiful potential of each person suppresses ingenuity because we are choosing to focus on what we can't do rather than all we can do. This standard pressures young girls and boys to look a certain way because of the way they are captured in the media. As a girl who has struggled with my weight since I was 6-years-old, I know what these pressures can do to someone's self-esteem. It was not easy to break through the walls that were built for overweight girls like me but I have managed to come out the other side knowing that I am worth being loved and I am worth loving myself despite what any societal standard says. It took years of comparing myself to my thinner peers to realize that I am unique and that isn't the equivalent not being beautiful. For this reason, I was strong enough to tell these two women that I am more than my weight. I was able to tell them that I am my dreams, my aspirations, my innovation and most importantly, my beautiful, beautiful heart.
