Call me Elsa. Today we're letting it go.
More of You, less of me.
This is my heart's greatest desire.
Lord, take all of me. I want more of You--your love, your forgiveness, your grace, and less of me. I want my desires to be those that you desire as well.
I say all of that from a part of me that is so genuine it hurts but, I live like it's not true so often, because I am holding on. I am holding on to hurt and control. But I am about to let it go.
It is so easy to hold on to those nasty feelings we have towards those who have wronged us. Let me tell you, this one is something I really struggle with.
Showing grace is something I have really been working on, but extending forgiveness to someone who hurt me way back when, well it's a work in progress.
And I challenge you to let go of that bitterness with me. Whoever it's against, whatever they did. Nothing is worth having that hate in your heart.
Nothing.
Forgiving someone is a big deal, but you know what? We have been forgiven. By the King of Kings, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. My sin held him on that cross. And His body can't be found in a grave anywhere.
We have the perfect example of forgiveness, and although we will never have that kind of unfailing love for one person (much less humanity as a whole) we should strive daily to look more like Jesus. And doing so means more forgiving, more loving, more grace.
Secondly, letting go of control is a big thing for me. You may be better about it, but I am like a baby holding on to my pacifier and wrestling with anyone who tries to take it away. And if they succeed in getting it? Nine times out of ten I am in tears, wishing I could just hold it. It's mine, after all.
Becoming a believer is about letting go of that control. Proclaiming with our words and our actions that His will is greater--infinitely greater.
To quote my all-time favorite writer, "To be completely honest and unscripted, I stood in that church and wrestled with God, saying: I only want love if it has more layers for me. I don’t want emptiness. I don’t want something that keeps me full for five minutes. But I don’t want to front it. I don’t want to fake it, either. If you’re real, then be real. Wash over me. Wreck me. Make me feel weak and woozy. I only want this thing if it’s real. I only want love if its the kind of love I can go ahead and stop trying to understand. Make this dance too exhausting for me that all I can do, in my own strength, is step on your toes and let you lead."
The last sentence left me in tears.
May we realize that we cannot do this life without Jesus, and trying will wear us out. Striving and struggling, that's not what Jesus desires for us. He wants us to say you are greater and to willing and joyfully place our feet on His and let Him do all the leading.
May we preach it to ourselves every day, and may we let others know, this is the power of Christ in me. Alone, I fail. In Christ, I am victorious.
I am loving this dance with Jesus. He knows how to make every step beautiful. He knows just when I need to speed up, and when a slow, slow dance is exactly what will keep me from losing it.
