I recently saw an article circulating about how some young women of this generation have their minds already set on a settled down lifestyle, and how they receive some backlash for this kind of thinking. I decided I want to say something about this topic too, as I find myself oddly squished between the two perspectives.

In this wave of feminism, it's easy to feel attacked for wanting certain things. Nothing against feminism-- I consider myself a feminist. All I am saying is that, the feminist ideals that make it into the spotlight are mainly these: "women don't need a man!", "you weren't born to just be a mother!", "be your own independent self!". While yes, a woman should learn to be self-sufficient, she shouldn't be berated for not wanting kids, and she should be allowed to be single without harassment, often the other side of those ideals is ignored. What about the women who have no choice but to depend on someone else for their well-being? What about the women who grew up wanting to be a mother? What about the women who enjoy having a boyfriend and want that kind of companionship in their lives at all times? Are these women less than those who follow popular feminist ideals?

I'll tell you right now, the answer is no. Feminism is about having freedom of choice. A woman's decisions in life about her relationship status, her dependency/independence, or reproductive organs have no effect on her status as a woman. If you want to get married at 20 years old, have kids and be a stay-at-home mother for the rest of your life, go do it! If you want to be single and become a lawyer with your own private practice and be entirely self-sufficient, you do you girlfriend. But don't deliver sideways glances to the one who decided she wanted something different than you. We are all different, and we all want different things. We sisters need to stand together, not apart.

So how does this apply to me, as a 21st century woman, today? Surely there is some application of this in my everyday life, or else I wouldn't feel the need to write about it. I have a boyfriend, right? We have concluded that we are soulmates and nothing can tear us apart (trust me, things have tried to tear us apart). We live in a day and age of waiting years and years to even get engaged, much less married. I was discussing this with an older lady the other day, about how I would like to be married to him before I go to med school so that he can be with me for emotional support. I'm a little old-fashioned and think two people shouldn't live together until they are married. This lady was implying that we don't have to be married to live together. When I asked her why, she replied, "better than getting a divorce".

That angered me for multiple reasons, and I won't get into it now, as this article would be endless, but I wanted to bring up how hurt I feel when others try to tell me what I want in life. There is a stark difference between advice and straight up telling me what to do. I do not appreciate the latter, no matter how good the intentions are. If I want to have a husband, work towards a great career in science, and coexist with another human being, let me. To those of you out there who want similar things, or completely different things for that matter, chase them.