Growing up, my parents always said, "If you work hard and do the right thing, you will be rewarded in the end." For most of my life, this statement rings true. I graduated high school with honors. I took all the Advanced Placement exams. I studied my little heart out all through my four years of high school, and it paid off in the end. With $7,000 in Freshman scholarships, I really felt like I deserved this, and I truly did.
In my first couple years of college, I refused to party, drink, or even think about submitting an assignment late. I felt like I was doing a good job of balancing the ever-changing balance of school, work, and having time for my friends. Still , I feel as though I'm doing an alright job of this, but we are our own worst enemy, right?
Fast forward to nearly two years later, and I find myself not actually being present in my daily routine of life. Every Sunday night, as I prepare for the full week ahead, I promise myself I will find time for myself and truly be in the moment instead of waiting for the next moment to pass. Instead, the inevitable happens, and it's like I look at my planner and go, "Okay, how much can I squeeze in this week before I just explode?" I look at other people's life and can't understand how hey find the time to actually enjoy it.
I find myself wondering if all of the is hard work and dedication will ever pay off? Yes, the ultimate goal is a degree, but isn't half the fun the journey it takes to get there?
Why am I feeling like I'm not being rewarded after all these assignments, community service projects, and working until I hit complete exhaustion?
I'm not taking time for myself, plain and simple. I'm the first to volunteer and the last to leave. I love helping others, and I don't think twice if someone is in need; this is just how I was raised... with the statement in mind, "If you work hard and do the right thing, you will be rewarded in the end."
The most important thing I've realized is I've been waiting for this reward, and not reflecting on how I can improve myself to receive this reward when the Lord decides the time is right.
Galatians 6:9 says, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
The vital part of this verse is the phrase "...for at the proper time..." It is not at a time when I think is right, or at a time when I know I need it or at a time when I hope I receive it. It is at the proper time.
I must hold onto my faith in the Lord, that His plans are so much greater than mine. I must remember to not be weary in my actions, but remember that I will be rewarded for good works, according to His kingdom.
