The thing about being “the quiet one” is that no one really understands just how much you’re suffering on the inside. It’s hard to talk to people, to stand up for yourself. Unfortunately, this makes it harder to find friends, which can also lead to depression.

I’ve had this problem all of my life. I hated talking to people and getting out of my comfort zone, and no matter how many times I tried, I just couldn’t make myself talk to others. As I grew older, talking to people became easier, but only when I got to know them. I have so much trouble starting up a conversation.

This happens to many people; desperately wanting to come out and say something, to make friends. However, when your mind tells you that whatever you say no one is going to care or that they will mock you for it, it’s hard to break out of your shell.

So for all of you guys and gals out there that just can’t seem to get over your shyness, I have some tips that will hopefully help you break out of that shell, find friends, and become happier.

Tip number one is to try talking online. No, I don’t mean that you should go find a random stranger on Facebook to talk to. I mean that you should practice talking using an app like Band, which I actually like. With this app, you can join different groups of conversations, such as a music group. Other people with similar interests are there and would be happy to talk. This app and a few others are really nice if you have trouble making friends with the same interests as you. As always, be cautious of strangers on the internet. Never give out personal information.

Tip number two is slightly harder than the first. Once you become a little more comfortable with talking to people online, try joining a club. Whether you’re still in high school, going to college, or a functioning adult in society, there are many clubs to join in your community. Figure out what interests you and find that club in your community. For instance, at my university, we have clubs for science majors, social workers, animal lovers, movie lovers, and so many more. If you can’t find a club at your school, try creating one! There are probably more students with the same interests than you think.
If you’re in college, try checking out Greek life. I broke out of my little quiet bubble the most when I joined my sorority. That’s the place where I felt most at home and there were many girls there that I thought I’d never be friends with. However, some people aren’t really into sororities/fraternities and that’s totally okay. But if you don’t try to at least learn more about them, you could be missing out!

My third and final tip for breaking out of your shell is to stop worrying about what others are saying. Part of me being so shy and reluctant to actually put myself out into the world was that I kept worrying about how people thought of me. Did they think I was fat? Ugly? Would they see every little embarrassing thing I did and mock me for it? No. The truth is that most people really don’t care. It’s all in your head. You are a beautiful, wonderful individual and should be happy. Unfortunately, no one can make you happy except yourself. You have to choose to do what makes you happy.

Although these tips may not work for everyone, they’ve certainly impacted my life. I’ve been freed from my shell. Now, don’t get me wrong; there are still days when all I want to do is hide in my little bubble of safe quietness, but little by little I am starting to become the true me.