September 8-14 is National Suicide Prevention Week and the entire month is devoted to suicide awareness. My own heart is heavy this morning. I now know of two precious lives taken from this earth through suicide because of other children's actions. My cousin was 12 almost 13. He took his own life after school one day because he didn't see another way out. He couldn't face the same set of kids one more day in class or on the bus. He had loving, devoted parents and a sister that shared an extreme closeness with him. If he had come to them and opened up his heart about his needs, his family would have not only met those needs but surpassed them in caring for him. Now, I know another funeral that is about to take place an hour from now in Louisiana. The similarities are there. An older brother, seventeen years old, just took his life while his two other brothers and parents were at home. I do not know them personally, but I know his cousins and they are like family to me and my family. My heart aches for what this family is doing today. Deaths are always hard on families, but especially when it is a son or daughter...a brother...a sister who is taken away so needlessly. These parents are the type that make sure their kids know how much they are loved. The boys are growing up with family around and have never been left to their own devices. They were and are cared for very well. I speak of this today because I know there are thousands of other tragedies across the nation just like this. It must stop, people. We must change the conversation. The anti-bullying theme if it is working is only doing a half-way job at best. Mean people don't seem to be getting the drift. Maybe it is time to start equipping people to handle bullying. Always tell people there is a way out. Tell your parents. Tell your siblings. If they don't listen, tell the teachers. Tell the guidance counselor. Tell someone at church. Tell the principal. At some point...someone will LISTEN. If you have to leave a situation either by changing schools, church, business, or social group than do it! Your spirit deserves to be guarded as much as anyone else's. You are worthy. Yes, you. Sit down and think with a paper and pencil. Come up with a plan. Decide who you trust and go to this person. There is always a Plan B. And if Plan B doesn't work, go to Plan C and so on. The alphabet has 27 letters. There can be lots of different plans. You may feel like you are in a place that your situation will never change, but it does. Like middle school or high school...I know they feel like they may last forever but they absolutely don't. You will move from there and have a whole new set of people and experiences. You aren't stuck. Please know this. If you are reading this and feel trapped in a situation I give you permission to tell yourself that you can and will find a healthy way out. Also feel free to open your heart to your trusted people if you have feelings of retaliation or anger. These can be normal feelings but vengeance is best done by showing those people how successful you can be, not by violence. Work through these feelings and you will feel freer than you have ever felt. Don't ruin your life by doing something that would be on your record forever and always. The old saying "Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right" is very true. Hold your shoulders back and your head high and find activities that you enjoy and make you happy. Reach out to that quiet person. You may find a very good friend that can listen. One day, when this is behind you, you can be a great source in equipping others to deal with their situations. There is no teacher like experience. Those people that have been bullied and come out successful on top are a mighty force and can be such wonderful role models. Let this be you. We have empathy for others when we have walked similar paths. Use this grace to find others who are suffering. For you boys, girls, men, and women out there who are instigators and drama makers, I feel for you too. People who are confident and feel loved never feel the need to tear others down, so you are the pitiful ones and in need of help too. How must it feel to become an adult and look back and remember your taunts on a school bus long ago? Now that you have children of your own, do you see it differently? I am guessing guilt creeps in knowing that you didn't actually pull the trigger but your actions took the life of another. Your insecurities and callousness caused another family endless grief. I feel for you. I pray that you can ask God to forgive you and that you can forgive yourself for your immaturity and lack of experience in dealing with other people's spirits. Please remember that your actions have consequences. If you can't stop bullying to protect others, then do it to protect yourself. You don't want to have these guilty feelings one day, do you? When you go back to your reunions or business retirement parties, you want to be able to be proud of the person you were. It starts today. What change do you need to make? Who do you need to apologize to? Who do you need to leave alone? Who do you need to invite to sit at your lunch table? What neighbor needs your help? This world is hard enough without adding harsh words where they are unnecessary. Please guard your heart and your reputation by respecting those around you. Families, have open conversations about bullying, and ask about one another's day. Ask lots of questions. Give guidance. Let's change the conversation.
The timeliness of this article below could not have been better. I am so thankful that this precious, creative child had a teacher that recognized the hurt and turned it into a successful situation. I thank the University of Tennessee for rallying for this cause and educating the public in such a thoughtful way. I can only imagine how cool it must be to have a design made official at a university. I have a feeling he is going to be a very successful business man one day as well as a wonderful husband, father, and friend. I hope to be able to follow him down his path to success. What's your path? Go find it today.
