An Open Letter To The Brothers Whose Betrayal Broke Me
Start writing a post

An Open Letter To The Brothers Whose Betrayal Broke Me

I'm sorry nothing I did was enough for you two. I hope someone else can be.

An Open Letter To The Brothers Whose Betrayal Broke Me

When a significant other breaks your heart, it's painful. You'll cry for a while, you'll move on to the better and realize you never needed them in the first place. When a sibling breaks your heart, that's a pain you'll never overcome.If you told me at 19 I would lose two more brothers in 2 days, I would everything in my power to stop it. The reality is you can't.

* * *

At 19 years old, the last thing I expected during my finals week of college was to receive a group facetime from my mom and stepdad to my sister, brother and myself. All in different states, all finishing up our years at college. It wasn't a normal call, I could hear my mother sobbing in the background, and my stepdad had a blank but grim look on his face. My younger brothers were nowhere to be seen.

Within 5 minutes that call would take a turn for the worst.

It was the call I expected but hoped would never come.

See, my younger brothers were troublesome. They got MIP's at 17 years old, and got caught with weed and got drug tested often. They had one rule from my parents. Pass their drug tests, and they could go anywhere they wanted for college, fully paid for the entire time. Something the rest of us didn't get.

When that call came through, I knew exactly what had happened. My brothers, who had only come into my life 3 to 4 years ago VIA adoption, would no longer be the brothers I had known and had.

This is my letter to them:


I wrote this in 7 places before here. I sat on the bathroom floor hyperventilating. I declined calls from friends who were concerned, I texted you both. Wrote it down and screamed it across my apartment. I'm so sorry it came to this.

To be clear, I'm not writing this for you. I'm writing this because it's my only way to compile my own thoughts. I choose to blame myself for your stupidity because me covering up for you was never enough.

I look back on everything the 3 of us have been through. Me dating 2 of your friends, you two being my shoulders to cry on after the rape, the drunk facetimes from me 2,000 miles away...your girlfriends, my bad decisions. It all seems like an act.

You boys told me you would be at my college graduation, y'alls plan was to move into my house in Arizona after you graduated, what the fuck now? You had ONE job. Don't lie, and don't fail a drug test. You did both.

I can't be angry with you. I'm heartbroken, I'm disgusted by your actions, and I am confused. In the end, you can lie and do whatever you want. You can choose to let me stay in your lives, or you can cut me and let yourselves drown. In the end, you both know that no matter how bad you fuck up, I'll still be here.

Regardless of the decisions you made and brought into our family, you both taught me what love is. Love is not what we give, it's what we get. The first text you both sent me after you knew I found out, was "I love you." You made me realize that I know what love is. However, I also know what loss is.

Boys, you're my heartbreak and my happiness.

For now, all I can do is try to forget. I want to forget so I don't break down into tears when someone asks about the boys on my wallpaper or that picture in the kitchen.

I hope you don't betray anyone else as you did me.

Above all, I wish for you two to somehow, find the decency to figure out your shit. Come to me then, and I'll be the one to help you.

I'm sorry nothing I did was enough for you two. I hope someone else can be.



Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Founders Of Color: Rec Room's Dre Taylor On What Blackness Can Look Like And Not Working For Free

"It mattered to me that when we were depicting racial diversity for Rec Room, we showed the broad spectrum of what Blackness can look like."

Rec Room

The world of sustainable fashion is inundated with marketing gimmicks, false advertising, and large corporations cutting corners — Rec Room is the pure antithesis of that.

Keep Reading... Show less

Dunkin' just announced that they'll be releasing their fall menu earlier than ever — set to debut on August 19 — and that it'll include new menu options this season, including a new signature pumpkin spice latte. Let me just say, Starbucks has some fall-menu competition now.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

CBD Lip Balm Is The Calming Presence You Need In Your Life, Trust Me

I tried lip balm, sleep gummies, and an oil dropper from CBDistillery. Here's the final verdict.


CBD has been on making waves within the wellness space for the last few years. Generally related to the treatment of anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain, it's growing easier to find small CBD companies who are making products specifically designed to fit your needs. As FDA rules for CBD production can be a little hazy, it's true that not all CBD products are created equally. That's why it's important to look into the manufacturing of whatever you're deciding to try, especially if you're new to taking CBD.

As someone who has tried a variety of CBD products — some victories, some failures — I was thrilled when CBDistillery sent me a package of their favorites. They included a Broad Spectrum CBD Oil Tincture, their Nighttime Gummies, and a CBD Lip Balm.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Went To Disney For The First Time Since COVID-19 And It's Officially The Cleanest Place On Earth

I stopped focusing on the pandemic simply because, for the first time in months, I felt safe.

After a few months of self-quarantining, becoming suspicious of every cough, and blowing through masks like a medical school student, restrictions due to the pandemic are easing up a bit and businesses are warily reopening. While these public spaces may look the same on the outside, the way they function and operate is vastly different than a few months ago.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 At-Home Therapy Tips You Need, No Matter What Your Therapy Routine Is

Whether you're in a Zoom session or live-chatting, make sure your home therapy space is good to go.

No matter what stigmas you held about therapy before this year, I'm sure 2020 has affirmed that we could ALL use a nice long therapy session. Between wildfires that took over an entire continent, a global health crisis, and what's sure to be one giant circus of an election in the United States, we need help and we need it now.

The fact of the matter is, therapy has been a helpful, valid resource long before the world decided to become one giant dumpster fire. Having a safe space to discuss what's going on in your life, worries you have, and struggles you're facing has become a very normal thing for individuals' mental health.

Keep Reading... Show less

When it comes to wedding planning, each and every detail is customized to the style of the couple. From venue and decorations to food and beverages, nothing gets overlooked — whether your wedding is big, small, or virtual.

The same thing goes for invites, which are getting more and more beautiful every wedding season. If you're looking to customize your wedding invitations, the options are endless... you can add pictures if you wish, opt for fancy artwork, or keep it simple with just text).

Keep Reading... Show less

23 Burning Questions We Have For The Taureans In Our Lives, Answered By A Taurus

The remaining 11 signs took the bull by the horns, and it was a fun and insightful experience!

Jordyn Leach

Lately, I've been digging deeper into astrology and studying my sign. Throughout the journey, it's come to my attention that Taurus are probably one of the most complicated signs - that is, if you're not a Taurus.

To gain a little more perspective on how my sign is viewed by the others, I requested that the participants submit a question in response to the following:

Keep Reading... Show less
Universal Pictures

A music enthusiast like myself has a playlist for every mood. Life's a movie and you're the main character. In no specific order, listen to these songs to feel on top of the world!

Pro Tip: turn your crossfade up to 3 seconds for a seamless transition between each song!

Keep Reading... Show less

It's the most wonderful time of the year again — it's sorority recruitment season! While recruitment can be a fun and memorable experience, it can also take a toll on your mental health, especially this year, considering the special circumstances brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic. Here are a few reminders to keep in your mental health toolkit during recruitment week to help keep your mental health at bay during this unique experience.

Keep Reading... Show less

We've all been there. You see that super cute guy on your dating app of choice, his bio is funny, and then, the gut-wrenching feeling hits when you see their political views don't exactly line up with yours. He loves Trump, you can't stand him, or vice versa.

A lot of people will say you can get over politics, but I know from personal experience, as well as this survey, that politics play a huge role in whether a relationship will work or if we're even willing to swipe right on that profile.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments