Let me start by saying, no I don’t miss you. I miss our memories. You have controlled me for long enough and I am choosing to walk away. That is an idea that would have never crossed my mind a while back. I thought I needed you to breathe, turns out I’m grasping more oxygen than ever before. I cannot believe I am letting those words slip out of my mouth. Let me confirm, I am not mad at you. I’m mad at myself for ever allowing this situation to arise. Turns out, there is beauty in a heartbreak.

Honestly, when all hell broke loose, I thought I was the problem. You made me feel like I was functioning solely for no purpose. I believed all of those lies, but today I have chosen to break free. A weight has been lifted off of my chest and I can’t wait to share my freedom. There is freedom is healing.

I pray that my heart doesn’t harden towards you daily. It’s so easy to huff and puff and wish the worst in life, but I don’t want to be like you. I don’t want to keep running from the problems that I face daily. I can’t let my self-satisfaction come from destructing someone else's happiness. It’s pretty sad to see you running away from those who cared for you the most. I’m sorry that you felt conflicted. I’m sorry that you are mad at me because you didn’t know how to vocalize yourself in our relationship, but I cannot be held responsible for your actions.

At the end of the day, I am still here for you. I’m silently cheering for you. I hope you find whatever it is that you are looking for in life. Maybe I look stupid for still having a string of hope. I guess I'd rather have a smidge of hope in my heart than a blob of hatred. I truly pray that you surround yourself with people who are genuine and love you unconditionally because you are worthy of so much more than you are giving yourself.

Please know that I am doing good. It’s been a while since I’ve been happy. When you left, I thought that this was the end for me, but it turns out it revived my soul. I’ve spent time with people that I would have never given the time of day before you left. I was so obsessed with perfecting what we had. I was afraid of you leaving. Turns out you happened to do me a huge favor when you left. So let me be the first to say, “Thank you!” It turns out you were lying to me.

I am not at all saying that heartbreaks are easy, but let me be the first to say it gets easier. It sucks when someone filled your head with lies for years. My heart shattered when you told me that this has been a joke for years. How does someone who loves you beyond measures, tell you that you are worthless in less than 5 minutes? I feel sorry for you. You may have convinced me in that time that I was the problem, but I can assure you that I am far from the problem. Jokes on you because relationships are a two way street.

I’m content where I am in life. I hate the way that you left, but I think it was for the best. I’m learning to love life in new measures. When I think of the future, I get excited because I have so much potential now. I’m not starting a new chapter, I’m starting a new book.