Dealing with a breakup is ultimately a struggle. As long as there were feelings involved, it hurts. Time does not matter, nor does anything else really. The things that do matter are the memories you made, the laughs, the jokes, everything that was once good in a relationship. The good memories, wherein at that point in time, you wondered how you could ever live without this person. The memories where you questioned if you're ever going to break up because everything seems so perfect. Because when you look back on those memories, you wonder how things could have taken such a drastic turn.
1. "You deserve better"
Whenever anyone goes through a breakup, the people around them try to support the person by telling them they deserve better. They will tell you that you can do better. They will pick on your ex for little things to try to show you why this is true. Maybe to crack a smile, make you laugh, bring some light back into your eyes. The problem is, it still hurts. Even if you have come to the realization that you can do better or that you do deserve better, the pain is still there. Feelings were once there, and that doesn't just go away.
2. "Can we stay friends?"
After a breakup, it is too difficult for many to jump to being friends. When you once shared a connection with someone that was more intimate, it's hard to just drop that and look at them in a completely different way. It hurts to hear the words, "I want to remain friends." For many, this may be a relief. But for me, this was a knife to my heart. I could not fathom how someone could want to jump from a relationship to a friendship so quickly. I still felt that I needed time to heal. This made me realize he did not need that time to heal. In fact, it showed that he was perfectly fine if he could go on with his day, seeing me as a friend, and not wanting more. It then hit me; did he ever even like me? If he did, it clearly was not as much as I liked him. It hurts. This hurts. It all hurts.
3. Seeing you around
I obviously don't want to sound bitter. I want my ex to be happy. I don't hate him. I do want the best for him. We had many good memories once before, and I can't choose to ignore that. But seeing him around is painful. This is because I wouldn't just "see him around" before. I would be with him. Or I would see him and join him on whatever he was about to partake in. Now, it's as if that had never happened; as if we're strangers. I obviously eventually want him to find a girl one day that he will love and cherish. It would simply be selfish of me if I said otherwise. But, it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt me because I will be wondering what she has that I don't. I will be questioning why he could stay with her, but breakup with me. It will hurt seeing that I could not make him happy enough to stay.