Our relationship was weird. Weird can't even describe our relationship because we were never in one to begin with. Nothing serious happened between us, yet I was so hooked on you that I could not think straight.

I was wonderstruck as soon as you crossed my path. I adored so many things about you. You had this way of coming easily to me. We laughed like we were five years old, and acted like it too. You were intelligent in ways I had always wanted to be. Every word you ever spoke was burned into every corner of my mind. Maybe you had felt similar things, maybe you did not. Maybe the entire experience was different to you.

I have to stop myself from wondering how you felt about it all. You were never just some person to me. You were this anomaly that wandered into my life and permanently changed it. You were this person who made me understand who I really was and what I wanted.

Unfortunately, it was not your presence that had brought me to that realization; it was your absence. When you left, it was abrupt. There was no warning, no tell-tale sign that you were going to walk out of my life. I was a mess of a person who had the nerve to adore you. That was too much; I was too much. I often asked myself what I had done wrong. With that burning question in my head, I had this desire to better myself.

I thought that maybe if I bettered myself, you would come back. I obsessed over being “good enough” for you. I honestly do not believe I have worked harder for anything. I learned to write more eloquently. I learned how to work harder. I learned what I craved out of life.

Most importantly, I learned how to love and care about myself. Before, my opinions about myself were dependent on your opinions on me. I did not know how to believe in myself unless it came from encouragements from you. I still adore the person you are, but I adore the person I am now even more. I have grown since then, and now I am okay. I am okay that we were never in a relationship. I am okay that you left.

You needed to leave, for the both of us. Some days I wish it would have turned out differently, but it did not. Everything happens for a reason. Your presence and absence were the precursors to many great things in my life, and I thank you for that.