Breaks from school are the worst because not only do you get comfortable with being at ease and, let’s be honest, lazy at times, but you also lose a lot of your motivation to go back to work and actually want to do school. I found it incredibly depressing, ON MONDAY, to realize that in seven days I would have to go back to school and work.
I’m gonna get real with ya’ll: I don’t like college. It’s my “backup plan” for my life, I originally just wanted to have my own house, get married, and have kids, that’s what I’ve always wanted since I was a kid, and that’s what I want more than anything. The children of today are our future, and I want to be a part of making the future, and making it great.
Going to college and getting a degree is my second option because I can’t sit around all day, and I have always heard that I can’t get a decent and good paying job without a degree. So here I am.
I am studying English, and getting a minor in Psychology, and I’m involved in lots of music. But English isn’t what I’m best at. I’m not bad at it… but then again, I’m not bad at any subject, I can get an A in any class, it just takes time. So, it’s not like I was best at English in high school, I was good at everything I put my mind to, and it’s the same way in college, I succeed at anything I decide to accomplish. So, I don’t really know why I chose English, except for the fact that I want to teach.
Now, I don’t want to teach as in going to work in a school and teach children the ABC's, or even be a teacher in high school and explain APA format. I want to teach people truths about life and I want to teach those truths through stories that people will enjoy and then suddenly, at the end of the story or with some little phrase in the middle, they will notice something they never did before. Being a teacher in a school, becoming a manager at a store or an employer of a huge company, anything and everything that any person does can teach somebody about something, but I think that the perfect way for me to do that is to write stories and publish them, and to have children and teach them every moment of the day by answering their questions and being their role model. I love the idea of someone trusting me that much to imitate and learn from me! I guess that comes from my own natural self, but maybe also a little from being a big sister. I have a younger brother and now that he is becoming a teenager, I’m realizing more and more that he imitates me, and I understand more and more my responsibility as a sister: to be his best friend and to be a playmate and a mini role model (“mini” because our parents are his first role models).
So that’s what happens to me over breaks from school: I lose my motivation to work at it because it’s second on my list. But maybe college is practice, you know? Maybe working at school every day all day, even though I may not want to, is practice for teaching kids or changing diapers or finishing that chapter even though I could have a horrible case of writer’s block. Maybe losing my motivation during breaks, short or long, is emotional and spiritual practice for when I’ll really get the wind knocked out of me later in my life, but I will have already made it a habit to get back up and keep going anyway. Or maybe I’m just “doing college” and I’ll never use some of this information. Who knows! But just in case… I do my best at everything I am set to, and I think everyone should.
