Sometimes people grow apart. Someone moves away. A friendship goes sour. Whatever the reason is, the relationship with your friend that you once held close is ending. If this is something that is bringing you down by bringing sadness into your life, it is time to officially break-up and move on.
Unlike with a romantic relationship, you don’t actually have to have a conversation with a friend to acknowledge that things are over. And no, you’re not ghosting that friend, either. It’s different when things end with a friend (assuming there is no big blowout fight). Things can vanish slowly. You let conversation fade off, or you stop asking that person to meet up with you. I’m not saying these actions are ideal, but they happen. And although your friendship is not the same, you still have a positive relationship. The older you get, the busier you get, so it’s not uncommon for this to happen with some friendships.
The above scenario is when friendships change because of “positive” circumstances. But what happens when you have a toxic friend? How do you even identify a toxic friend?
A toxic friend is someone who brings you down instead of building you up. A friend shouldn’t make you feel bad more often than they make you feel good. Another sign is if you are the one making all of the effort to talk to and see the person, but they aren't making any kind of effort. Friendship, like any good relationship, should have an equal balance. The last sign of a toxic friend is the flakey friend. This is the friend who makes a plan with you then disappears to another city with a different friend when you’re supposed to be hanging out, and you only know about it because you texted the friend to see when you were meeting up (This is based on something that may or may not or definitely did happen to me).
All of those people are detrimental to your well-being. You do not want them in your life. There are two ways to handle these people: talk to them, or cut them out completely.
It is always painful and sad when you get to this point with a friend, but you need to address the situation for your own good. Talking to them will feel awkward, but it can bring a lot of clarity. You could both agree to work on things and try harder, which would be great!
Cutting off a friend can be really hard, but it can be the right decision for you. You will end up feeling better in the long run if you do this. Cutting off someone is exactly what it sounds like. You stop making efforts to communicate and trying to get together with them. Chances are, that friend won’t even notice, since they probably weren’t making you a priority in the first place. After all, if you were a priority in their life, you wouldn’t be at this point.
Remember that cutting off a friend does not mean that the friendship is over. I would encourage everyone to keep the door to friendship open, especially if this happens with a formerly really close friend. The difference is in how you approach the relationship. You will come in now with different expectations, and with the realization that you are setting yourself up for possible big disappointment. Also, keep in mind that friendships go through stages like every relationship. There can be growing pains in any friendship. That is why you should never write someone off completely. Trust your gut and make the decision that is best for you.
