Every day is starting to feel the same. I resent my mom, and she is every reason I do not want to stay. Get me away one night or one day. My life is not plain, all I do is train for the years she thinks I will end up being somebody's maid. She makes me feel ashamed sometimes and I hide in my room to cry and write the pain away. She believes she is doing everything right but she is really losing the game. My goal was to leave as soon as school set me free. But of course she had to keep me.
The day I leave will be the dandiest day I think will ever be. Currently she keeps trying to kick me out, but last month I was the only one she was about. I feel like the future I had with her is gone, I do not want her to be there when I succeed or when I make my own family tree. It is sad that I feel the way I do, but they always told me that honesty was key.
I do not want to stay locked up and sheltered from the world anymore, that was never who I was meant to be. One day I will prove her wrong and hopefully make my peace. I love her but usually she pushes every button to make my anger release. It is so frustrating when every comment weighs me down so much that I just want to scream.
I want a happy little life as cliche as it may be. But with my mother I am a bird inside a cage tied down with all of her restraint. My point is that I fear there is no way out. I fight my way through this life, I cook and I clean but in her mind I am a lost child with no self esteem. I am different from all the others, I am not an easy scholar. I am unique and soon I will reach my peak.
The love that I had for my mom is past a place that I never wanted it to be, and because of this I fear that it will never feel the same, and nothing will ever be regained. I never wanted this to happen but she set her own bed. Maybe when all of her children are gone she will realize all that she did wrong.
Until then I do not see a future relationship with this person that criticizes everything that I find interest in. All she has ever done was judge me and push me away. For your sake I hope that you change your ways one day.
