You were the final piece that remained. I need to say what I need to say before my chest gets any tighter.

I’m really sorry, I tried, but I can’t do this anymore. I need to do what’s best for me. You were a part of me for the longest time, but I need to let you go for good because I don’t think of you that way anymore. I can’t have you tugging at my ankle. I don’t have to pretend that you’re still good for me. When I see you walk by, I don’t owe you anything, and you need to respect that.

I’m no longer under your power. I’m done feeling ashamed of myself. I’m spreading my wings. I know you’ve always meant well, and I know you cared, but something never felt right. The more you held me and rubbed my back, the worse I felt about myself. The next morning driving to brunch, the weight crushed me harder and harder each time. I know you tried as the years went on, but this feeling wouldn’t go away. I’m saying enough is enough, you don’t define me. Never have, never will, it’s all over now.

I wish you the best, don’t let the door hit you. Let go of my hand. I know you’ll do just fine, you do you, and I’ll do me. I know you don't need me, so I'm not worried. I can’t have you here plaguing the present. The past is in the past, and I won’t let the bad times get to me anymore. I know who I need now, I will rise, and not fall anymore. I won’t say I hate you, but I’m sad that it took me so long to realize that I hate the way you make me feel. It’s not your fault, and it never will be. You don’t get me, but I never really got myself when you were around. Maybe you were just here at the wrong time. No matter how much we built our relationship, I was never content.

The last thing I want to do is label you as toxic because you never were and never will be, things were just the way they were. I won’t say I wish I could go back in time and change things, but knowing how I feel looking back makes me feel stronger. Getting up ten minutes earlier that one morning before my alarm went off instead of going back to sleep wouldn’t have prevented anything, it is what it is.

I had a lot of unresolved business, and I guess you kept me in the past. I hated the way I looked and acted. Hell, there was nothing I liked about myself, and I still had yet to find someone who would make me feel really good about myself. But nevermind that somebody, I still had yet to find my purpose in life. I still don't know now, but I have some ideas, and I sketched out a map. And I’m sorry you had to be thrown in while I was at my worst. I’m sorry it has to be this way, but I need to take my own path now.

So all I have left to say is take care.