Dear Finals Week,
I'm not really sure how to start this, so I'll just tell it like it is: It's not me, it's you. I know what you're thinking, how could I possibly be blaming this all on you? Well, my dear, while it does take two to tango, you just happen to have two left feet and constantly step on my toes, making me trip and fall flat on my face.
I know we only see each other twice a year and I know you've complained about the long distance thing for a while, but I need to come clean and tell you that I just can't do this anymore. The thing is, I'm never excited to see you, nor have I ever been excited to see you. When most of my friends think about their loved ones, they get butterflies in their stomach and their cheeks get a little flushed, but whenever you come to mind, I typically associate you with phrases such as "imminent danger," "looming in the distance" and "the rapture is near." Sounds super unhealthy, right?
Despite our tempestuous relationship, you have brought some wonderful things into my life that I am forever grateful for such as...wait can you give me a second? Scratch that. What I meant to say is that you've brought many things into my life, but none of them are exactly wonderful, nor do I regularly express gratitude for them. Sorry, was that too harsh?
The only things that you seem to bring out of me are my worst characteristics, and I really do not appreciate it. Every time you're in town, I'm constantly in fight-or-flight mode, I cry every 10 minutes, I eat everything in sight and I just flat out stop doing any work that's due within the next week. I need a cheerleader, finals week, and you're just a Debbie downer. I don't need that type of negative energy in my life.
You've seen the cranky, emotional, nonsensical, procrastinatory me, finals week. You've seen me at my worst, but unfortunately, you've never seen me at my best. I always find it somewhat strange as to how whenever you leave town, I'm happy again, so I'm going to take this as a sign that you and I were just not meant to be.
I know you see our relationship as necessary, as you've told me several times that I won't graduate college without you. Ugh, you're just so clingy! How dare you think that I can't graduate on my own? You are so egotistical. I mean really, finals week, does it always have to be about you? What about my needs?
While I always thought this would be a difficult breakup, as I'm writing this, I'm actually finding it very freeing. I'm making the independent decision to leave this relationship, and I release you. I know you've made reservations to stay on campus at the end of next semester, but unfortunately, my room will be filled with friends, Netflix binges, and boxed wine. There will be no room at the inn.
And if you must know, yes, there is another hottie in my life that will be coming into town soon after you leave. His name is Winter Break and it seems very promising.
With love (kinda),
Your hopelessly stressed out college student
