Last semester I learned a lot about this topic through writing a research paper for my Writing Studies II class. I knew I had heard this a thousand times but its roots are much deeper and more damaging than you or I may have realized. Of course there are always exceptions to the "rule", but here is an overview of the more typical scenario.

The definition of "boys will be boys" on google pops up "used to express the view that mischievous or childish behavior is typical of boys or young men and should not surprise others when it occurs."

Boys are often punished harsher and contains more verbal and physical punishment compared to girls, enforcing at a young age that boys are to be angry (stemming from verbal punishment) and physical, common masculine traits. This is caused from the commonly used statement “Boys will be boys.” Soraya Chemaly, Director of the Women’s Media Center Speech Project, explains a common scenario between raising boys vs. girls:

For months, every morning when my daughter was in preschool, I watched her construct an elaborate castle out of blocks, colorful plastic discs, bits of rope, ribbons, and feathers. Only to have the same little boy gleefully destroy it within seconds of its completion...Not once did they talk to him about invading another little person’s space and claiming for his own purposes something that was not his to claim. Figuring out what they would say next became a fun game “You know! Boys will be boys! (Chemaly).

This idea all goes back to the Social Roles Theory which states that people create gender stereotypes about both males and females from watching them play different roles in society. Therefore if boys are seen as not being able to help their action by saying “Boys will be boys” then they will continue to act in that same violent manner. In addition if females are taught that this is the way boys are and that they can't help it, then females grow up accepting the fact that it is perfectly ok for boys to behave this way.

So how does this affect women too?

Women and young girls often suffer the consequences from this commonly used statement. Growing up it becomes hard for little girls to understand why they get punished for the same behavior the boys had an exscuse for. Or the little girl is told "That isn't lady like." The dynamics of all of this has become of a great interest to me and it truly all starts at a young age in grade school, then as girls continue in school the consequences become greater and greater.

Continue examining this as you go throughout your own lives and you will see this commonly used phrase used over and over to compensate for actions. However, I think instead of saying "Boys will be boys" how about "Boys will be held accountable for their actions, just like girls."