He shuffled through his sandbox and his mother's perennials when he was young, with his favorite “Tonka Truck” making various noises as he plowed another one of his sister's Barbies into the mud. He’s 5 years old and just a boy, with scrapes covering his knees from games of tag that got a bit too “intense” and a healing black eye from last week's pick up kickball game. He’s only 5 years old, so his parents just throw an airy giggle his way and count his reckless schoolyard streak as an “age” thing. He’s 5 years old and just a boy.

A few years go by and he’s met a girl in his English class. He pokes fun at her because this is what boys do during this age, even though his lungs fill with an adolescent infatuation whenever she walks past his desk. He decides to “play it cool” and waits for her to show some interest back. He sends a few instant messages her way and a week later, he’s got his first middle school “girlfriend”--but two weeks after that the whole relationship goes to shit because he met her best friend, and now she’s caught his attention.

Now he’s in high school and he’s decided to get serious about his current girlfriend, but he ends it all so he can go off to college and “have fun” without feeling “guilty.”

This is life. I’m not saying you meet the woman you’re going to marry when you are 5 years old, but one thing this short synopsis doesn’t explain is the woman on the receiving end. It doesn’t show the little girl feeling insignificant and self conscious around her best friend, which probably ended the friendship. It doesn't show the young woman in high school going into her freshman year of college, afraid to commit because her “last one” screwed her up. It doesn’t show the women he dances on and hooks up with during "welcome weekend" who can't wait to see him around campus, only to see him three weeks later in her roommate's twin extra long.

The crazy thing is the rest of the world looks at this boy now, and they call him a “man.” He’s still got the same reckless charm that his parents shook off years ago; he doesn't take responsibility for the women he’s carelessly attached to his belt or take notice to the deeper meanings behind the random 3 am texts. This boy is not a “Man.” This behavior is not to be respected or admired, it's not something his friends should be high-fiving him for. Frankly, it's disgusting that this generation can treat others like this, and it’s pathetic how much sex is emphasized and idolized.

I want to know when the change happens. I want to mark on my calendar the exact date where you’ll start seeing women as more than just something to chase or toy with. I want to get a notification straight to my phone, or a fire alarm to go off the moment you look at her and think, “This is someone I’d be willing to give my all to, this is someone worth the commitment." John Green once said, “People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used.” He added, “The reason why the world is in chaos, is because things are being loved and people are being used.” I’ve read this quote at least a hundred times through different moments in life and time after time I tell myself how true it is. I sit in silent contemplation wondering if I’ll ever be good enough for someone to devote themselves to.

I’ve started to urge myself to believe that I’m not going to settle. The right Man, a real Man, will come along and on Saturday nights he won’t say things like “Oh man, with women it's all just a game,” like the last one did. I’ve decided that I’m ok with closing myself off for now and trusting few; I’m okay with being single, because being single doesn’t mean being alone. I’m okay with waiting for the man who can shake my father's hand with a clear conscience. Finally, I’m okay without you.

See, in all honesty I feel bad for you--your biggest accomplishment right now is a body count--a numbers game--it's how many beers you were able to drink and not get drunk on last weekend. It's how cool you felt sizing up those other boys who wanted to fight. See, in all honesty I feel bad for you, because you let go of one of the best things that could’ve happened to you. You didn’t see yourself worthy of unconditional support and dedication. You didn’t see the depth into a pair of eyes that was willing to be your number one fan and listening ear. You let go of someone so genuine and so pure--you did that, and I feel so bad for you.You’ll never get to hear my stories, or see me full heartedly laugh at one of your

jokes again. You won’t be there to go on adventures with me, or join me in creating success. So I hope the woman who gets you as a Man knows how much growing you had to go through; I hope she realizes how many hearts it took to shape yours, and I hope you treat her the way you should’ve treated me. I hope the woman gets the Man and not the Boy, because baby, you’ve got a lot of growing up to do.