To All Of The Boys I've Loved Before

To All of the Boys I've Loved

You made me lose myself.


You told me you dated me so I wouldn't kill myself.

You told me you didn't want to date me anymore because I refused to have sex with you.

You told me I was "too much".

You told me I wasn't pretty enough to be seen with you.

You told me I was clearly unlovable because my father didn't love me and if he didn't, no one would.

You told me I needed to wear different clothes.

You told me I was never going to be as smart as you.

You told me I was a dumb bitch.

You told me you'd kill yourself if I broke up with you.

You told me I thought too much of the little things.

You told me I deserved to be raped and then proceeded to tell me to get over it.

You told me I was a lowlife pathetic whore.

You told me not to post online because you didn't want to be seen with someone as ugly as me.

You told me that I was never going to get to college because only smart girls can do that.

You told me I was crazy.

You told me "there's probably a good reason you don't want to be alive anymore. What is it, your daddy doesn't love you?"

You told me I had to fill out an application to even be seen with you.

You told me "if you think you're pretty, you may want to check twice."

You told me "I can see why everybody leaves you, including your own family."

You told me I would never be enough for anyone.

You told me I was useless.

You told me "You'll end up getting pregnant at 19 and having to drop out of college because the father will leave you and I'd just be sitting back laughing at you."

You told me to go ahead and kill myself.

You told me I belonged to you.

You told me I was the one to blame.

You told me I was the one who left you when you needed me the most.

You told me that the first time you put your hands on me was going to be the last time.

You told me I was a bitch after I had to call the police because you tried to kill yourself over me trying to break up with you.

You told me "If you need another break from me, make this one a permanent one and die."

You told me I should never have kids because I would ruin their lives.

You told me I needed to lose weight.

You told me that the adults I've gotten close to in college are only around me because to them I'm no one, only a liability.

You told me that I was going to drop out of college, that I was never going to graduate.

You told me that every man I ever meet, no matter who they are, will beat me and hate me because I was that unlovable.

To all of the boys I've loved before, you have hurt me more than I've been able to share until this moment. You have made me lose faith in ever getting in a relationship again and in ever having children. You have reminded me that maybe all men are meant to hurt me...that maybe I was never meant to be loved.

To all of the boys I've loved before, you have made me lose the love I used to have for myself. You have made me spend too long getting ready for fear that I don't look good enough. You have made me lose sleep because of my worries about an outfit. You have made me isolate myself because I believe I am meant to always be alone. You have given me nightmares.

To all of the boys I've loved before, you have made me lose faith. You have encouraged my failure. You have disregarded my existence and have only further pushed me into the hole I started digging for myself a long time ago.

To all of the boys I've loved before, you have made me hate myself.

Because of you I am never going to be enough. I am insecure. I am faithless. I am sad. Because of you I am lost and because of you, I'm not sure I want to be found.

To all of the boys I've loved before…

I'm sorry I ever listened.

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6 Important Must Knows For Dating Sassy And Sarcastic Girls

Brace yourselves boys, she's a tough one.

Dating a girl with a big personality can be tricky. They are some of the most amazing girls but to keep them, one needs to understand them. Here are six important things you must be aware of before you give your heart to a sassy and sarcastic girl.

1. Stubborn

She is going to be the most stubborn creature you will ever meet. I say "creature" because she might actually scare you with how much she refuses to back down until you have full proof she is wrong. And if you can’t prove her wrong, just suck up your pride and let her be right or she’ll never quit. But just remember that she’s simply passionate about whatever it is and you should be proud of her for that.

2. Bluntness

She is going to be blunt. So be prepared to hear the truth. She isn’t going to care how mad you get, if you’re being rude, she won’t be afraid to put you in your place. If your choice of clothing isn’t matching, she’ll tell you. Whatever it is, she isn’t going to keep the truth from you. Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes she’s just a little too straightforward.

3. Sensitivity

Be careful sometimes with your choice of words. Though she is blunt, she is also sensitive. Her sarcastic personality is sometimes just a defense mechanism because she fears opening up. She worries a lot and continues to ponder the things you say. Remind her she is loved.

4. Friends

She is going to have a lot more guy friends than she will have girl friends. Why? Because guys tend to find more humor in her sarcasm and don’t take it so personal, whereas other girls take it as she’s being serious and just rude. However, don’t be jealous because trust me, you’re 100 percent hers and those guy friends are just that — friends.

5. Insults

She’s not going to flirt with you by giggling and blushing and calling you cute. She’s going to call you an idiot and smack you across the shoulder or back because to her, that’s easier than being all giddy and speechless over how much she likes you. And even when she’s calling you names, which really is in all fun and games, she doesn’t mean it seriously, she’s actually just saying “I love you” in her own special language.

6. Shorty

If she’s short in addition to being sassy and sarcastic, you’re in for a big treat with her. She is not only going to be full of fast wit, but she is going to have so much spunk in her you won’t know what to do. She will be so feisty that she won’t be afraid of anything or anyone and you yourself won’t even know how to handle her. That’s what makes her special.

It takes a certain type of person to be able to give their heart to someone who can so easily break it with their strong headed personality. But a sarcastic and sassy girl is going to be the one girl who is going to love you with all that she has. Treat her right, and she’ll treat you right.

Cover Image Credit: Larisa Birta

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Poetry On Odyssey: Summer

However I choose to spend my time, I will know that I made this summer season mine.



Oh how I have missed this time of year.

My favorite season, it is finally here!

The time for laying on the beach with my toes in the sand.

Or going in a boat away from land.

Feel the sun shine down on me,

Or sitting in the shade under neighbor's tree.

Going with my mom and taking a hike,

Or going for a ride on my bike.

However I choose to spend my time,

I will know that I made this summer season mine.

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