To All Of The Boys I've Loved Before

To All of the Boys I've Loved

You made me lose myself.

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views

You told me you dated me so I wouldn't kill myself.

You told me you didn't want to date me anymore because I refused to have sex with you.

You told me I was "too much".

You told me I wasn't pretty enough to be seen with you.

You told me I was clearly unlovable because my father didn't love me and if he didn't, no one would.

You told me I needed to wear different clothes.

You told me I was never going to be as smart as you.

You told me I was a dumb bitch.

You told me you'd kill yourself if I broke up with you.

You told me I thought too much of the little things.

You told me I deserved to be raped and then proceeded to tell me to get over it.

You told me I was a lowlife pathetic whore.

You told me not to post online because you didn't want to be seen with someone as ugly as me.

You told me that I was never going to get to college because only smart girls can do that.

You told me I was crazy.

You told me "there's probably a good reason you don't want to be alive anymore. What is it, your daddy doesn't love you?"

You told me I had to fill out an application to even be seen with you.

You told me "if you think you're pretty, you may want to check twice."

You told me "I can see why everybody leaves you, including your own family."

You told me I would never be enough for anyone.

You told me I was useless.

You told me "You'll end up getting pregnant at 19 and having to drop out of college because the father will leave you and I'd just be sitting back laughing at you."

You told me to go ahead and kill myself.

You told me I belonged to you.

You told me I was the one to blame.

You told me I was the one who left you when you needed me the most.

You told me that the first time you put your hands on me was going to be the last time.

You told me I was a bitch after I had to call the police because you tried to kill yourself over me trying to break up with you.

You told me "If you need another break from me, make this one a permanent one and die."

You told me I should never have kids because I would ruin their lives.

You told me I needed to lose weight.

You told me that the adults I've gotten close to in college are only around me because to them I'm no one, only a liability.

You told me that I was going to drop out of college, that I was never going to graduate.

You told me that every man I ever meet, no matter who they are, will beat me and hate me because I was that unlovable.

To all of the boys I've loved before, you have hurt me more than I've been able to share until this moment. You have made me lose faith in ever getting in a relationship again and in ever having children. You have reminded me that maybe all men are meant to hurt me...that maybe I was never meant to be loved.

To all of the boys I've loved before, you have made me lose the love I used to have for myself. You have made me spend too long getting ready for fear that I don't look good enough. You have made me lose sleep because of my worries about an outfit. You have made me isolate myself because I believe I am meant to always be alone. You have given me nightmares.

To all of the boys I've loved before, you have made me lose faith. You have encouraged my failure. You have disregarded my existence and have only further pushed me into the hole I started digging for myself a long time ago.

To all of the boys I've loved before, you have made me hate myself.

Because of you I am never going to be enough. I am insecure. I am faithless. I am sad. Because of you I am lost and because of you, I'm not sure I want to be found.

To all of the boys I've loved before…

I'm sorry I ever listened.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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views

They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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Newsflash! It's Time For Everybody To Love Everybody

Come on, people, get it together.

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I, personally, think it's time for everybody to just start loving each other. Now listen, this doesn't mean you need to actually love everyone, but at least accept them. Acceptance is the closest thing we are gonna get to loving each other.

Let me tell you a little something: politics at the moment are very messy. No matter which side it is, it's messy. There is no denying that. If you try to deny that, then good for you, you're not helping anybody. If you really want some change, you need to start being the bigger person. Change isn't about who can yell about something louder or who has the "better" argument, it's about being respectful.

Just because someone has an opposing view does not mean you need to yell at them. Does yelling solve anything ever? Maybe temporarily, like for 2 minutes, but that's about as long as you're gonna get. There's absolutely no need to indirectly say something about certain individuals on social media. Yes, there is freedom of speech, but everybody should keep in mind why they have that right and why they still have it.

I do not understand why it is so hard to be respectful of one another. If someone goes after another person talking about how absolutely terrible it is of them thinking something should be illegal, the person who's being yelled at should respectfully ignore the other individual's disrespectful remarks. If the individual does not stop, then they are not aware that they are making no difference in the world.

What I'm trying to get at here is that in order to love each other, we really need to accept all our differences. If we really want change we need to go right to the sources, not just yell at each other from across the street. If everyone learned to accept each other, life would be a whole lot easier. Is this ever going to happen? Of course not. This is the solution though, whether you think so or not.

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