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Boys Aren't Everything

Find yourself before you find a guy.

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Boys Aren't Everything

This may come as a surprise to most, but your boyfriend isn't everything. Now, before you jump on my back and tackle me to the ground because he's your best friend and you love each other dearly, take a deep breath. Don't roll your googley heart eyes that you have saved in your phone next to his or her contact name.

A couple things about yours truly. First, I'm not anti-relationships. I'm not disregarding that you love him and he's the only one for you. Yes, he's a great guy, simmer down. Secondly, I firmly believe, more than I believe that 2 + 2 = 4, that you need to be single. For a year or two of your life, go stag during your I'm-trying-to-be-almost-adult phase. Don't just rely on your sophomore year in high school to teach you what it's like to be single. Boy's aren't everything, I can promise you that.


You need time to figure yourself out.

I know, I'm probably repeating what you've heard before but I couldn't stress this enough. You're insanely young; you need time to yourself. To be young and just do what you want to do. You need to figure out what you want. You can't find what you want until you've truly been single.

I've been in my share of relationships, I enjoy talking to boys, and going on dates, there's nothing wrong with this. I think being in a relationship is a rush of emotions, an array of happiness and warmth you didn't know you had the capability to feel. When you have a good relationship, I would agree that it truly is wonderful.


I have also experienced the other end of the spectrum. And I love it.

Being single is so frowned upon. Everyone is so conditioned to think that you need someone else to make you that happy again. But I completely beg to differ with those who think happiness is found being with a boy. I found pure happiness on my own. I found myself doing things for me. I wasn't just following someone else around.

While in a relationship, a lot of people without even realizing it, tend to only have a vision for this one person, they tend to slowly forget everything else around them. I see this everywhere. I'm surrounded by people in relationships who are dedicating their whole life to one single person at such a young point in their life. That isn't necessarily negative; it only becomes negative when it affects other aspects of your life. It begins negative when you slowly drift away from everything. It's as if this person dictates their life and every move subconsciously. The deeper you get into it, the more you devote your life to this significant other and the more you stop seeing anything else around you. You begin to have a sort of tunnel vision for the person you're with.


I realized after being out of a relationship what I wanted for myself.

I stopped being dependent on someone else. Depending on someone can become so consuming and encapsulate every aspect of your every move without realizing it. It has become the most liberating time of my life. It's about loving yourself. You need to be able to do this, before anyone else can learn to love you.

I started thinking for myself. What I find interesting, what motivates me, and what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to go my own way, I don't want to follow anyone. I have my share of dreams and so should you. I think when you have time to yourself, with your friends, you're able to do the things you truly want to do. Within that, you begin to find yourself in a way you couldn't have found in anyone else.

Sooner than later, you'll be tied down with finding a job, then work, then paying different bills at once trying to get by. This is your time to be completely free of (most) adult-like responsibilities. This is the time in your life that you can look back at and realize you really were perfectly fine without a guy.

Your friends are everything. Your family is everything. Your future is everything. Boys aren't. They are just a mere part of your everything. It's the time of your life to do you. This is the one time, you can be almost selfish. Think of your future, what you want to achieve, where you'd love to go. Within that, you'll find what you want. Where you want to end up. You'll find yourself.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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