My Boyfriend Stayed With Me Through My Sexual Assault

My Boyfriend Stayed With Me Through My Sexual Assault And I Could Never Be More Grateful

I remember it being so damaged after my sexual assault that I felt like I could never love anyone again.

My Boyfriend Stayed With Me Through My Sexual Assault And I Could Never Be More Grateful

I remember it being so damaged after my sexual assault that I felt like I could never love anyone again.

If I'm being honest, I wasn't sexually assaulted the same time by boyfriend and I were dating. I was assaulted before meeting him but I still had the lasting effects weighing heavily on me.

In the beginning of our relationship, I had so many hangups and limits.

He couldn't touch my neck.

He couldn't hold my hands down.

He couldn't kiss me for too long.

His hands couldn't lay on my back for too long.

He couldn't love me without me getting scared and backing away.

But through all that, all those limits, he stayed. He stayed and never pushed. He let me move at my own pace. He let me choose when I was ready to kiss back. He let me choose when I was ready to be touched. He let me choose when to say "I love you."

I don't know why he put up with all my limits. He says that he saw who I was underneath all the damage. He says he saw a beautiful, funny girl behind the walls she built so high.

I did build my walls high because what was one to me was horrendous and still affects me and my relationship on a day to day basis but still be stays through the storm. He's patient and loving through all the panic attacks, anxiety, and paranoia.

My boyfriend stayed with me through the aftermath of my assault. I love him so much because he loved me when I couldn't love him. He gave me time and space.

If it wasn't for him keeping my mind calm and serene I feel like I would've killed myself or hurt myself, at the very least.

People ask us one question all the time, it's "How did you know he was the one? How did you know you loved each other?" He has his own answer but mine is simple.

It's because he stayed when I didn't love myself.

It's because he gave me strength I didn't know I needed.

He gave me hope and the ability to love myself again.

And I'll always love him for how amazing he is.

He owns a piece of my heart forever now.

Report this Content

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.


From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments