10 Things You Understand When Your Boyfriend Is Addicted To Video Games

10 Things You Understand When Your Boyfriend Is Addicted To Video Games

They cancel plans to play.


When my first serious relationship started I loved most things about my significant other, including his hobbies. We had similar interests and that was a major influence on how we got along as a couple. I met my boyfriend online, on an MMO game, Final Fantasy XIV. For the non-gamers out there, MMO stands for "Massively Multiplayer Online." It's essentially a type of video game that has a large number of players participating in it.

I spent a lot of time debating whether his hobby was healthy or not, if it was normal and if I had a right to be concerned about it. If your struggling with a similar situation, take the personally-observed tips below as an indication that there's something more going on with your S/O than a simple gaming hobby.

1. They're attached to one game

It might not seem like a big deal that your partner plays one video game every single time they play. I mean, when you like something you stick with it right? You reread books and re-watch movies all the time, not to mention repeating activities like playing certain sports you like or other hobbies. Well... being excessively attached to a specific game can be a sign that your partner isn't appreciating the act of gaming in general, but engrossed in a particular one they can't stop playing.

2. They cancel plans to play

This can be one of the more annoying signs of an addiction to gaming. As a partner you should be understanding if your boyfriend/girlfriend would rather relax at home than go through with plans. It's understandable if both parties are in agreement with cancelling an event. it's only a negative effect of a gaming addiction when the plans are cancelled or forgotten without considering their obvious or verbalized importance to you.

3. They become overly defensive at the idea of addiction

A person that becomes easily aggravated or uncommunicative towards their partner when a concern is brought up is always a sign that something is off in the situation. A good partner will always listen (or at least try to) when there's a need to communicate a problem or question in the relationship.

4. They think/talk about games constantly

There were times when my partner and I talked about what seemed like every idea or thought that crossed our minds even for a second. Whether they were silly, obsolete or just plain random. As time went on the range of topics we discussed narrowed considerably. Until one day I was conscious of the fact that all we ever talked about was playing video games.

5. Their mood changes when they don't play

It's a common aspect of any addictive behavior. If a person stops the behavior suddenly they tend to face withdrawal or another similarly debilitating episode. They have to adjust to the change, no matter how little. If you repeated an activity for months or years and decided to stop, you would need to accustom to that action's absence in your life.

6. They make excuses to play

Though he spent most of his time playing video games, my boyfriend would come up with little excuses to play for shorter amounts of time between other activities. For instance, if he was studying for a test, he would stop studying every 10-15 minutes to play. I questioned that as a tactic to study effectively and he argued that the material couldn't sink in if he didn't have a break.

7. They play behind your back

I had a weekly work-school schedule that changed every few months. I slowly realized that my boyfriend seemed to be in a better mood when my schedule was more consistent than not because I wasn't home to discourage him from playing. He planned his gaming sessions when I wasn't around and felt more comfortable that way because it gave him a guaranteed amount of time daily to feel satisfied.

8. They have gaming enablers in their life

In the case of my boyfriend, his enabler was his mother. An enabler is essentially someone in a person's life, it doesn't have to be an addict, who encourages negative habits or behaviors. The enabler isn't necessarily someone aware that they're enabling either. For example, my boyfriend's mother was supporting the gaming addiction because she thought it was a way for her son to relieve stress in other areas of his life, like school.

9. They stay up late or have a poor diet

Whenever there was a major event in my boyfriend's favorite game he would 'prep' for it. It reminded me of the dedication someone would display if anticipating the Apocalypse. He would round up a number of 'supplies' such as easy, frozen food he could eat between gaming sessions, a case of water bottles, clean blankets he could throw over himself if cold, and enough energy drinks to sustain him for three straight days without sleep.

10. They don't have friends outside the game

Your not any less of a person if you don't have a lot of friends or aren't considered "popular." Anyone with common sense knows that much. However, if the person your concerned about can only list friends that are online or fellow gamers he's never met face-to-face, it can be an indication that they are relying on satisfying basic social needs through the game.

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4. Listen to her.


Some days, it seems like girlfriends are constantly asking for more, and while they may be annoying, there are a few simple ways to stop her nagging and win her praise.

1. Pay attention to her.

I promise you, she is dropping hints every day. These may sound like "Awh, look at all the pretty flowers" or "I haven't been to Boba House in so long!"

2. Plan dates. 

Text her while she is at school or work, and tell her to be ready when you get home or by a certain time. Give her an idea of how dressed up she should be, but don't tell her where you're going. Then, take her to her favorite restaurant, one she's mentioned lately, or to a new movie she'd been looking forward to!

3. Pick up small gifts for her.

This doesn't have to be anything expensive, but next time you're at the grocery store pick up her favorite candy, or a small flower bouquet. Just something little that will show her you were thinking of her when you weren't together.

4. Listen to her. 

Ask about her day, and when she tells you what Sarah did at work, ask her the next day or a few days later if things got better. Take interest in her life and remind her occasionally refer back to old topics to prove you do listen.

5. Get her involved in your interests.

It doesn't all have to be about her! Ask her to watch the game with you, or to go out with you to hang with your friends. She wants to be just as involved in your life as she wants you to be involved in hers!

At the end of the day, every relationship is different. Take this advice as vaguely as needed, and learn your partner and what they expect from you! Happy dating! :)

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The Dos And Don'ts Of Being Friends With Benefits

4. DON'T hang out outside of the bedroom.


No, I'm not talking about Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis (although, I really liked that movie).

I'm talking about the dreaded no-strings-attached situations we all go through sometime in our lives. Sometimes without even realizing it.

Friends with benefits, if you don't already know, is when two people agree upon a set of rules to keep their—situationship—strictly sexual. Sounds awful, right? Not always—as long as you can follow these do's and don'ts of having successful friends with benefits!

1. DO sleep together.

Obviously. I mean, every friends with benefits is different, but usually, the whole point of one is to sleep with each other without any complications (aka feelings).

So, by all means, sleep together!

2. DON'T sleep together.

Sleep together as in have sex, but don't sleep together as in staying the night at each other's houses. After you've done your business, take your business and get out of there. Don't stay the night or else it'll lead to attachments!

3. DO have open and honest communication with each other.

Prior to getting into your little arrangement, talk to each other first. Mutually agree to a set of rules ahead of time. For example, will you two be having sex with other people?

Also, keep that line of open and honest communication throughout. It's important to keep checking in on each other's thoughts and possible feelings.

4. DON'T hang out outside of the bedroom.

Or the back seat of your car, or a motel room, or wherever else people may have sex at that isn't their bedroom—the point is to keep it strictly sexual. Anything outside of just having sex, even a quick run to Starbucks together, is a date.

Keep it in the sheets and out of the streets or else one of you will catch feelings.

5. DO explore your sexual fantasies and desires with each other.

This is when that whole open and honest communication comes into play. Part of the benefits of having a friends with benefits is that you can essentially explore any sexual desires and fantasies you may have with each other—with no complications (if you follow these guidelines).

6. DON'T introduce each other to each other's friends.

Choose the right person to have a friends with benefits with. You don't want to choose someone who's your best friend—things are going to end up messy—but you do want to choose someone who's, say, a cousin's best friend's sister.

Just don't pick someone from your inner circle, and don't let them introduce you into theirs.

7. DO respect their decision to end things.

All good things will—unfortunately—have to come to an end at some point. Remember that prior to getting into a friends with benefits. If you're looking for a happy ending (aside from the big "O"), then look elsewhere because no, not all friends with benefits lead to a relationship. You should never go into one expecting it to either.

No two friends with benefits are the same—just like no two relationship is the same. But I found these do's and don'ts to be super helpful for when I went through that stage with my now boyfriend.

Yes, that's right. We were friends with benefits before getting into a relationship.

But like I said, not every friends with benefits ends with a cute flash mob Justin Timberlake orchestras for Mila Kunis. Not all of them ends like my boyfriend and I's either. So, be mindful of that. Be prepared for it and as always, be safe. Safe sex is great sex!

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