10 Things You Understand When Your Boyfriend Is Addicted To Video Games

10 Things You Understand When Your Boyfriend Is Addicted To Video Games

They cancel plans to play.

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When my first serious relationship started I loved most things about my significant other, including his hobbies. We had similar interests and that was a major influence on how we got along as a couple. I met my boyfriend online, on an MMO game, Final Fantasy XIV. For the non-gamers out there, MMO stands for "Massively Multiplayer Online." It's essentially a type of video game that has a large number of players participating in it.

I spent a lot of time debating whether his hobby was healthy or not, if it was normal and if I had a right to be concerned about it. If your struggling with a similar situation, take the personally-observed tips below as an indication that there's something more going on with your S/O than a simple gaming hobby.

1. They're attached to one game

It might not seem like a big deal that your partner plays one video game every single time they play. I mean, when you like something you stick with it right? You reread books and re-watch movies all the time, not to mention repeating activities like playing certain sports you like or other hobbies. Well... being excessively attached to a specific game can be a sign that your partner isn't appreciating the act of gaming in general, but engrossed in a particular one they can't stop playing.

2. They cancel plans to play

This can be one of the more annoying signs of an addiction to gaming. As a partner you should be understanding if your boyfriend/girlfriend would rather relax at home than go through with plans. It's understandable if both parties are in agreement with cancelling an event. it's only a negative effect of a gaming addiction when the plans are cancelled or forgotten without considering their obvious or verbalized importance to you.

3. They become overly defensive at the idea of addiction

A person that becomes easily aggravated or uncommunicative towards their partner when a concern is brought up is always a sign that something is off in the situation. A good partner will always listen (or at least try to) when there's a need to communicate a problem or question in the relationship.

4. They think/talk about games constantly


There were times when my partner and I talked about what seemed like every idea or thought that crossed our minds even for a second. Whether they were silly, obsolete or just plain random. As time went on the range of topics we discussed narrowed considerably. Until one day I was conscious of the fact that all we ever talked about was playing video games.

5. Their mood changes when they don't play

It's a common aspect of any addictive behavior. If a person stops the behavior suddenly they tend to face withdrawal or another similarly debilitating episode. They have to adjust to the change, no matter how little. If you repeated an activity for months or years and decided to stop, you would need to accustom to that action's absence in your life.

6. They make excuses to play

Though he spent most of his time playing video games, my boyfriend would come up with little excuses to play for shorter amounts of time between other activities. For instance, if he was studying for a test, he would stop studying every 10-15 minutes to play. I questioned that as a tactic to study effectively and he argued that the material couldn't sink in if he didn't have a break.

7. They play behind your back

I had a weekly work-school schedule that changed every few months. I slowly realized that my boyfriend seemed to be in a better mood when my schedule was more consistent than not because I wasn't home to discourage him from playing. He planned his gaming sessions when I wasn't around and felt more comfortable that way because it gave him a guaranteed amount of time daily to feel satisfied.

8. They have gaming enablers in their life

In the case of my boyfriend, his enabler was his mother. An enabler is essentially someone in a person's life, it doesn't have to be an addict, who encourages negative habits or behaviors. The enabler isn't necessarily someone aware that they're enabling either. For example, my boyfriend's mother was supporting the gaming addiction because she thought it was a way for her son to relieve stress in other areas of his life, like school.

9. They stay up late or have a poor diet

Whenever there was a major event in my boyfriend's favorite game he would 'prep' for it. It reminded me of the dedication someone would display if anticipating the Apocalypse. He would round up a number of 'supplies' such as easy, frozen food he could eat between gaming sessions, a case of water bottles, clean blankets he could throw over himself if cold, and enough energy drinks to sustain him for three straight days without sleep.

10. They don't have friends outside the game

Your not any less of a person if you don't have a lot of friends or aren't considered "popular." Anyone with common sense knows that much. However, if the person your concerned about can only list friends that are online or fellow gamers he's never met face-to-face, it can be an indication that they are relying on satisfying basic social needs through the game.

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5 Powerful Rihanna Songs That Prove Relationships Ain't Easy

"I still love you, but I just can't do this."

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Relationships aren't perfect. They can be painful and aggravating. They can be problematic and detrimental to our mental health.

Of course, relationships require a great deal of time and commitment to maintain, but if you're not with the love of your life, is it even worth it?

Here are five beautifully powerful Rihanna songs that prove relationships are harder than they look.

1. "Take A Bow"

"Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not // Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught"

2. "Stupid In Love"

"I still love you, but I just can't do this"

3. "Rehab"

"I never gave myself to another the way I gave it to you // You don't even recognize the ways you hurt me, do you? // It's gonna take a miracle to bring me back // And you're the one to blame"

4. "Te Amo"

"I understand that we all need love and I'm not afraid // I feel the love but I don't feel that way"

5. "Stay"

"Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving // 'Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving"

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10 Things Your Partner Should Do That Aren't #RelationshipGoals But Are Just Being A Good Partner

These aren't special...these are things all good partners should do in a relationship

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I see so many posts and stories about #RelationshipGoals and being the romantic that I am, I usually love all of them. Surprise visits, weekend vacations, and thoughtful gifts always turn my heart to mush and make me melt. But sometimes I see things that are considered "relationship goals" that are really just things all good partners should do. Here are 10 #goals that your significant other should be doing in a relationship!

1. Caring about your problems 

This is kind of the first thing listed in the job description of being a good partner. You should listen to the person you're with, let them vent when they've had a rough day, and keep up with how things in their life are going. The idea of having a partner that actually cares about what you're going through should not be romanticized, it should be the norm.

2. Complementing you (a.k.a. hyping you up) 

I see videos on social media all the time of boyfriends being like "damnnnnn look at my girl, she's looking so good today, thats my baby!!!" with "#goals" as the caption. Although I think these videos are super cute, all partners should be doing this for one another. If you can't go on and on about the person you're with and shower them with compliments, you might be with the wrong person.

3. Knowing your food orders 

This sounds dumb, but after you've been together for a few months, knowing what your partner orders at their favorite places should be a given. If you've been paying attention, this is a no-brainer. If you care about your significant other and listen to them, it's so easy to start remembering how they like their coffee or what they get on their Chipotle bowl.

4. Wanting to meet/spend time with your family 

Unless you have a difficult or different family situation, your partner should always be interested in meeting your family and getting to know them. Sometimes I'll see post like "my man wanted to play catch with my little brother and it was so cute." And in my head, I'm like "uh..duh?" Partners should always want to spend time with the other important people in your life because if they're important to you, they should be important to them, too.

5. Remembering small details about your or your relationship with each other 

"He remembered where we went on our first date and took me there for our 1 year anniversary #GOALS!" Um...well I damn sure hope he remembered where you two went on your first date! Remembering these small details is super important and shows that you care. This is not something that is super special because ALL good partners should do this!

6. Going on dates 

Not to generalize, but so many millennial relationships revolve around "hanging out." Netflix and chilling, doing homework together, or spending time with a group of friends are all great things, but it makes going out to dinner or to a movie seem like this super other wordly experience. When in reality, going on dates should be a given in any relationship. This doesn't mean you have to go out every single week or even that you have to spend a lot of money, but dates are an important part to any relationship and shouldn't be considered "relationship goals."

7. Posting about you on social media 

I know everyone uses social media differently and in some cases, you're not able to or you don't want to be super personal on your online accounts-and that is totally fine! But posting about and showing off your significant other on social media is such a norm for this generation. So when people get all excited because their partner posted about them, I get sort of confused because shouldn't that be a given?

8. Getting along with your friends

This could be an unpopular opinion, but if your partner doesn't want to meet and get to know you're friends, you might be with the wrong person. I've seen posts about people being excited because their boyfriend/girlfriend and their best friend get along and hang out and even though that's great, shouldn't it just be that way? It's the same when it comes to family, if you have important people in your life, those people should be important to your partner as well. That's not goals, that's just being a good significant other.

9. Supporting your personal and professional goals 

"So glad I have a man that supports my career goals and helps me become the person I want to be!" This is great and I'm so happy you have that...but this is how ALL partners should be. Your significant other should be supportive of your dreams and aspirations and do what they can to help you. It shouldn't be special or out of the ordinary if they do this.

10. Having fun together

This might seem stupid, but I've seen posts like "I'm so lucky to have a girlfriend who I have inside jokes with" or "Get you a relationship where you laugh more than you fight" .... LIKE DUH! This is your partner!!! You're supposed to be best friends, make memories, joke, laugh, and have a good time! This should not be uncommon, if anything, it should be uncommon if you DON'T do this.

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