Loving another person is pretty incredible. Finding someone who enjoys everything about you, values your time, respects you and appreciates you can be pretty cool. It can also be really difficult. Everyone operates, thinks, and more importantly, loves differently. The way that you give and receive love may be completely different than the way your significant other shows and wants to receive love. In a healthy relationship, it's crucial that you have an understanding of what your partner expects from you and vice versa. That being said, it's easy to get irritated when your man isn't doing something that you wish he would! Here are a few things that upset us about our boyfriends but they probably shouldn't.
1. He takes forever to respond to your messages
Guilty as charged. I'll be the first one to admit that this makes me irrationally crazy. The way that I see it is there is NO WAY that you're so busy you don't look at your phone at least once all day long. Therefore you should be able to shoot me a text and say that you love me. But think about how ridiculous that sounds? I see my boyfriend constantly and we have conversations in person that are much more meaningful than anything he could send me via text. Chances are he's actually busy and his lack of response to your "Hey, how are you?" isn't because he doesn't love you, it's because he values interaction with you too highly to half ass it.
2. He never posts pictures of the two of you
This is one of those uber shallow things that I wish wasn't so important to me. It's annoying when you post pictures of you and your boo on Instagram and Facebook with lengthy comments about how much you love them and it's not reciprocated (or even "liked"). But let's get real, most guys don't use social media nearly as much as women do and it certainly isn't as important to them. So if that's the case, why is it so important for us to seek validation from everyone on our social media regarding our love lives? I don't care if Sally So-And-So from Biology knows that my boyfriend loves me, I know he loves me.
3. He has a lot of female friends
Take it from Demi, you're probably just jealous and I don't blame you. Your man being surrounded by a constant gaggle of attractive women would bother even the most secure girlfriend. But remember, it's more likely that you're convincing yourself you should be worried than you actually having a reason to be worried. Guys don't see other women the way that we do. We see his gal pal as the potential "other woman", he probably see's her as one of the guys. Trust me when I say that If you have a reason to worry, you'll know. We'll call it "girlfriend's intuition".
4. You don't go out on dates
Dates are fun. It's exciting and romantic when your guy plans something and gives you the chance to get all dolled up to go somewhere just the two of you. But chances are you're in college and IF he has a job it's part time, it pays the rent and put's gas in his old car. You can't claim you don't understand that because you're probably in the same situation - I know I am. Remind your honey that you don't need him to spend buckets of money on an evening together. Making dinner at home, renting a movie he knows you'll enjoy and snuggling on the couch can be way more fun than going out on the town.
5. He occasionally talks to his ex
ATTENTION GUYS: THIS WILL ALWAYS BOTHER YOUR CURRENT GIRLFRIEND!!!!!
ATTENTION CURRENT GIRLFRIENDS: TRUST YOUR MAN OR GET LOST!!!!
I understand why this is touchy. It bothers me that my boyfriend is still on good terms with his ex. But if I'm honest with myself, I'm not intimidated by her or afraid she's going to steal my man, I'm jealous. It's one thing to share him with other girls he's just friends with but it's a lot harder to face sharing him with someone he once loved. But get this - he LOVED her and the fact that the two of them are mature enough to leave their breakup in the past, move on with their personal lives and manage to be kind to each other in a completely platonic way says A LOT about your boyfriend. Are all guys the same? Absolutely not. But it's on you to decide whether you trust him with her or not.
6. He Doesn't always respond to/send the mushy stuff
Again I'll say that men do not think the way that women do. Unfortunately, we are normally the one's leaving the sweet notes in his bag, buying the creative, thoughtful gifts, etc. He shows love in other ways like telling you you're pretty when you're in you're loungy clothes, driving at night because he knows it's hard for you to see. But this is a prime example of why it's important for you and your guy to understand each others love language. If you feel MOST loved when your boyfriend leaves you notes or sends you long drawn out messages during the day, express that to him. I had to because one thing guys can't do is read minds!
7. He doesn't always invite you when he goes out!
Your boyfriend is perfectly entitled to hang out with his friends without you and vice versa. In fact, it's important that you each have your own lives separate from each other otherwise you might kill him. I recently, though, found myself in a situation where I felt left out when my boyfriend hung out with two of his friends at his place. But when I was laying in my bed that night I realized that I wasn't really upset because I wasn't invited to this little gathering, I was upset over all the other things listed above, trivial things. I was feeling jealous and insecure and sad for reasons that my boyfriend wouldn't understand because he didn't know I was feeling that way.
It's so important that you communicate your feelings to the people in your life. Open lines of communication allow you to work through issues and feelings and ultimately decide if these issues are in fact things you can get over. Everyone deserves to be with someone who wants to learn how to love them!
